What a great site this is, it has given hope to me even though its been fleeting at times.
I think I’m finally at the end of the road, not by choice, yet I’m certain I have been backed into a corner for the last time.
I could packup and leave right know, yet where would I go ? I can only travel so far, to so many different places on the map, state to state far reachs of the US mainland, yet I have to use an ATM card to access my money every month which leaves a picture and a data trail as to locations.
The methods used are simple and the general public has very little idea the cell companies turn over whats called dump lists from towers containing thousands of numbers, without warrents because the courts have upheld that its not an invasion of privacy, they are not tapping any phones, they are just getting numbers that pass thru the towers, its up to the receiver of the dump list to weed thru all the numbers till they find the one they are looking for, then the exact gps location is next to the number. I have changed phones many times over the last year and a half, I have to stay in touch with one very important person, if his number is being monitored, they get my new number shortly afterwards, doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out and they are professionals at this stuff.
No one has put me in this predicerment except myself.
I recently received my two component chemicals that I would have as a back up plan that makes a certain poisonous gas, yet I will not have time or a secluded place where others won’t be affected by the gas, its lethal at very low ppb.
So the most offensive way for me is the only real option, its quick, I just hope it doesn’t hurt, I think the body will be in so much shock, even if life remains for a few minutes, all systems of conscisness will be off line, as death separates me from the physical being over to the world of spirit if it exists will be a quick transition. Yes I think of hell fire and damnation, I no longer believe hell exists. I just think life is a vibration at certain frequencies, and the spirit once freed from the physical seeks out the bandwith in the universe where it belongs, I think its all good in the after life, and if it isn’t, I just arrived there a little before my time.
There may truely be nothing after this, nothing wouldn’t be so good or bad, there is no thought to see it one way or the other.
Thanks for all those people which have been on this site with me, I know the people and screen names come and go, I post, then may not be back for weeks or months, yet there are times when I’m on the site everyday, and still others may not remebr me or haven’t ever seen the caucajun SN.
Of course this sucks, yet stayimg would be worse than anything imaginable, suffering beyond comprehention. So this is my fate and I accept it when the knock at the door comes.
4 comments
Hi Caucajun; Of all the stories I’ve read on here, you and one other person ( a senior citizen) were the only people who I thought were in a “no way out” situation.
Here’s the thing though: if you check out with unresolved issues, and you believe in an afterlife, you’re still going to have to face the music. You’ll still have to pay your debts, it’ll just happen later (with interest added). If there’s nothing after you die, then disregard this paragraph. You have nothing to worry about. I’ve never died before (that I’m aware of) so I can’t claim to be an expert on what happens.
If there’s something else, then death won’t absolve you.
Either way, I wish you the best.
So what your saying is if anyone dies for any reason with unresolved issues they will have to pay any debts, ………… to who ?
I used to believe the christain montra/dogma about if a person committs suicide they are doomed to hell for eternity. I no longer buy that meaning or interpretation of any of scriptures, thaat does not spicifcally say, thow shalt not kill thyself, there is no reference to suicide (except Judas) in the bible.
I believe in a specific entity that thru him is the only way to the father, ask and you will receive, asking for forgiveness is iron clad if it truely exists. When the time comes I will cover my bets so to say right before the instant of what has to happen.
I will check back later tonight if possible. If I make it to next week I will login and post that I’m still here, if not then I’m gone.
Karma. Google it. Consequences brought upon oneself. Good or bad, I don’t know who administers justice. Believe whatever you’d like, no one here gets out alive. 🙂 We still have to pay our debts. Sorry
Lucy we all have different beliefs. People have strong convictions and it usually a topic that people saty away from because of all the diversity of belief. Muslims, Christains, Jews, Baptists, and many others think they each heve the right belief systems and no one can change their minds (usually).
Here’s an analogy, and no its not a joke; There was a Jew, Catholic, and Muslim, each family had a sick child the same age, exact same illness that there was only a 1% cahnce they would survive the surgery. All the Dr.’s and hospitals were all indentical.
The night before and during the surgery these families prayed, after the surgery was over, the Dr’s came out and said to each family, the their child will make a 100% recovery and the operation was a success.
If any of these perents were offered a million dollars to deny their religion or faith, beacuse their god saved their child.
So beliefs are fairly solid, I’m open to different things and Ideas, thats how I got away from a punnishing god in my belief system. I was taught 20 years ago, that I could have a god of my understanding, not anyone else’s. Yet my current understanding was prodding into existence by SoftSoul here on SP. Totally changed my thinking.
So don’t be sorry for my god and beliefs, you are entitled to yours, yet no one really has any right to denounce others gods or belief systems when its wasn’t solicited.
I think thats why SP really doesn’ want religion debated too much here on SP, its a devisive subject. We all need to speak of beliefs, in a round about way, while not offending or possibly pushing someone over the edge, especially new comers, the topic may be too much for them to handle.
I am not perfect, a couple of weeks ago, in a very wrong mood placed a link to a web page with the formula of hydrogen sulfide. I went back the mnext day to see if I could delete it, ……… phew, it was already gone. Hopefull no one used it.