I don’t know why i try anymore, honestly. it seems like everything i do actually does nothing in this world. I give my friends everything they ask for and keep my promises, you know, being a good friend, and they make up excuses, “oh, i had to stay home and watch my sister” or “I forgot” a couple weeks later. Dropping classes with me because it makes you too tired to be able to go hunting and leaving me to be with your cousin who buys you stuff. It’s crap because im supposed to be her friend, but she leaves me to be with her cousin.{ This is not my friend that i mentioned before, btw}
I really don’t like the holiday season to begin with, and it’s really going to suck this year because my bf and his sister are moving to Gull Lake. I wont get to see him and hes a junior. No one understands that i’m losing everyone that i love in this world. I don’t care that the general population thinks that im weird and that my friends make jokes about emos and suicide daily to my face. Its the fact that they know i have depression and im trying so hard to stop cutting, but the drama and the jokes make it really really hard because i have a low selfesteem and i get all of that and more at home.
Suicide in my eyes would fix everything in my family. They don’t like me and call me names and my friends ignore me. I want to show everyone that what theyve done to me impacted me alot and that its their fault. All of it. No one cares anymore. Im done
7 comments
I know how you feel, I cut daily, and I want to stop… I have friends that aren’t really my friends… I have family that couldn’t give a crap about me, I know it might feel like there is no hope, but if you can do it I can… I will do this with you one step at a time…
thanks. That sounds so good to have someone want to help me or work with me on this.
cutting is bad but its a cry for help. You want the pain to go away so you cut. Obviously cutting is bad and you know its bad thats why you want to stop. You want to find something that truly helps. Try to find an alternative to that. I’m not sure what girls like to do to keep themselves busy but find something to do besides cutting when you feel like you want to cut. Some guys like to workout and that helps. But find something to replace cutting.
You still try because somewhere in your heart you still got hope. Thats whats keeping you going. Dont give up. NEVER GIVE UP. When this is all over you will be alot stronger than before. Dont die now. Your not happy. Dont die this way. You want to live your life. Thats why you fight against the darkness. You have some light somwhere in your heart and its hope. You are not alone. This will end just dont give up. Prove to yourself that you can get through this. If you need someone to talk about with. I’m here. I mean i know im just a stranger but I mean everyone here is going through similar things. So that means some of us can help eachother. And I’m that kind of person who loves to help people because I care about people. No one deserves to go through this kind of pain. And i mean nobody. And thats why i want to help you because you are someone.
I’m the type of person who NEVER GIVES UP. I’ve lived this way my whole life. And im not where i want to be…………not yet. Key word “yet”. I mean im only 16 and you may think that this guy doesnt know anything about never giving up but because of my promise to never give up no matter what, im actually getting better. My heart is getting stronger. If i didnt care then i wouldnt comment on this post trying to help you out. I also aint here to hurt anyone otherwise i would have commented on this post saying something stupid but i dont do that.
lonelyinside ,
your not really going to like my advice but………… don’t depend on others to make you happy,everyone grows up and goes there seperate ways,if the people around you aren’t fun and bother you,get new people,it’s up to you to change your situation not them. and one more thing sorry things aren’t going so well,you can make them better.
Lonewolf23, thanks for the advice about finding an alternative. i actually like working out, but i can only do it at school, and that doesn’t help much. My friend gave me another thing to try, using markers and i feel like that won’t help and ill look funny, like a rainbow or something…
rocketman, thanks too. I would try to find new friends, but when youre halfway through high school and by association youre either druggie, alcoholic or slut, no one wants to hang out with you. I know that sounds like an excuse, but thats how it is.