I lost my father 10 years ago at age 8 to a rare childhood bone cancer called Ewing’s Sarcoma… I’m now 18, in a good college, in honors and severely depressed. I’m overwhelmed and would kill to see him. I’ve started cutting, missed classes and feel so disconnected from everyone. Half the time I can’t feel and the other half I’m so overwhelmed with emotion I slide into panic attacks.
My counselor just says its normal college stuff but I can’t really open up to her, I barely open up to anyone. The worst part is the guilt that I feel this way. I know I shouldn’t at all. I’ve had a good life. Was top of my class, taught dancing, was president of my robotics team… But I’ve still been depressed for almost a year now. There’s so much going on and I want it to end. I’m the kind of tired and worn out sleep can’t help.
2 comments
Fire your counselor. If you don’t feel comfortable opening up to her, then there’s no reason to keep going to her. She will translate your silence as something else and you might get wrong advices. Find a new one, someone you feel comfortable with.
Grieving a family member’s death is individual. It took me 3 years to get over my father’s death, but I still miss him sometimes. Everyone’s different.
But I can see that it’s starting to affect your life more than ever now. You need to start doing something, otherwise it might get worse.
Go out and have a picnic with your family or close group of friends, who don’t really like to party. Alternatively, take a small walk in the park and pick flowers or, if it’s snowing, build a mini-snowman. What helps even more is exercise. Maybe start a bit of jogging once a week. This also helps a bit for cutting. The key is to find something else to do.
And I know it’s hard, believe me, I’ve been there. But I got through it and so will you. I’ll always be here, cheering you on! 😀 If no one else believes in you, I will! I’ll be your friend and listen to you! We all will, here 🙂
Sinine is right. The best advise i can give you is to do exercise. Put on some music and go a run or something, or go to the gym. My auntie did her thesis on the effects of exercise on depression and as part of it took a severely depressed guy off his medication and swapped it for a fitness regime. As a result when she was finished with the experiment the doctors panicked because he wouldn’t go back on the anti-depressants. Exercise does work! It’s just a case of getting the motivation to do so, you will be able to think about things more clearly exercising and will be able to deal with things better with a clearer head. Just try to get yourself up to do some:) It’s not easy i know but try.
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