Here I am still trying to stay strong but falling apart each and everyday I feel like I just could fade away any day now and no one could care and just like that I could be gone. I feel like I do not want too keep going anymore. I have made promises to those who I will not let down. I love and care about the ones I promised too but please if I do give up just know it was for the best. I am not giving up just yet I want too beat my depression so badly I want too stop feeling suicidal I just want too get better but the days and time just goes by too slowly for me and I feel like each day I loose a little bit of hope each time. I love the people who have given me the love and support on here they are the ones who make it worth sticking around. I can not thank those enough it means a lot too know thats someone out there cares <3  I really have been in a dark place lately and I honestly do not know how much longer till I just give up. I want to be strong, I want too beat this, I want too get through high school and become a happier person, I have so many hopes and dreams but I just don’t know how much of those hopes and dreams I actually want too accomplish. I know its easy too say that “its done” or “I really just want too be dead”  but  It’s only certain moments in our life were in our minds its okay to be dead. We only have one chance too keep going or too give up and die when it’s not our time. I want too honestly get through this and it takes work too be strong and too get passed it all. The only thing is, I just keep falling and I wonder  whats the point?Â
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I have read everything you wrote, You say you are in High School, so that put’s you anywhere from 16-18, You have way to much to live for, Your life has just started.. You have way too much to keep going for, Now is not the time to be feeling/thinking like this. This stuff should be when you are in your 30’s, 40’s + not teen’s.
I am 31 about too be 32 next month. I have just my Aunt and her Son which I live with, on Disability due too my back, I can walk but not long. I can’t work, I have no car, No friend’s, The One Woman I loved and still love, I found out was using me to try to get pregnant and for drug money so this whole year has been hell. I have tried over dosing almost died from it.
I am realizing she is not worth it, nothing is worth me ending my life for. I may not have much in my life, but I am realizing nothing is worth taking your own life. If I can make it through all the abuse I have made it through by Ex-family and her. You can make it. Just hang in there. Nothing and No One is worth your own life. Life will always knock you down and it will keep you there if you let it. Trust me It kept me there for 5 years. But I managed somehow someway to get out of it. If I can, You can. Keep your head up. I am here if you ever need to talk. You can message me on here or at prime09prime@yahoo.com .