I just don’t know anymore…

My life’s a wreck…Everyday just seems to get harder than the last. I try and try and anybody that knows I feel like this always say “It’s alright,” or “It’ll get better,” Some even try to tell me that it’s my fault and that I don’t try hard enough to be happy. I just…I’m sick of trying to be happy when there’s nothing to be happy about. I used to wake up everyday and be able to tell myself “I have a girlfriend, and if nothing else I’m going to wake up for her,” but I can’t say that anymore. She left me about a week ago and I’m still hurting. I’ve been cutting for at least a year now and lately it’s gotten worse. It just feels good to cut, whenever I do it feels like I can control my pain, even if it’s for a short while. My mother and father are trying to help me and tell me that I need to turn to God and that God will save me from my problems but I’m sick and tired of giving all of my problems to somebody who I’m not even sure exists anymore…and if he does he sure as Hell has never done anything for me. He’s never been there for me. They tell me that it’s my punishment, that obviously I’ve done something wrong, but what have I done wrong? What did I do wrong as a ten year old kid having his arm broken by bullies? I’ve never gotten any support from him and I never will. I just want to scream. When I was with my girlfriend she always made me feel better and whenever she touched me I felt better. I felt like all of my problems just seemed to…disappear. Well now she’s gone, and I’m having a hard time coping. My life’s been Hell for as long as I can remember and now the one person that made it worth living has left my life…I’m just scared and don’t know what I’m going to do without her. I just don’t know where to go from here…