lost control

my name is Sammantha. i am nearly 20 years of age. ive been out of school for 2 years now working a dead end job. i was a straight A student in high school i wanted to go to school for zoology. it never happened. some where along the line i got scared i wouldnt be smart enought and instead of taking my SAT i took thr ASVAB and was just waiting till i was 18 ton enlist in the Army. finally the time came to do that and my mother who has cancer got sick again. i decidsd to stay back for a while. i didnt want to abandon her. my dad is a jackass. all he does is starts fights with everyone. he has made my life a living hell forever. calling me nasty names. telling me im worthless and good for nothjng.scum.  aftef hearing it for about 15 years i guess i started to believe it as well. but anyways back to current time. yesterday my mom had a seziure and i had to call an ambulence. my dad made me ride in the ambulence with her. and i was never more terrified in my life than that moment. it turned out my moms cancer spread to her brain. i think my dad is trying to convince her to not accept treatment for it. she has been fighting cancer for 5 years now why would she just give up? i know the statistics with out treament she has an outlook of 1-4 months… my mother was the closet family member i have. loosing her would break me… i hate my dad.i fucking hate him. i just wish he was the one that got sick and not my mother shes innocent while he is bile. it disgusts me that the good people always get shitted on.