Where do i start? My mom is my everything. we are exactly alike, well i guess im exactly like her! But she tells me all the time, that im just like her, only more open about it, and at a younger age. its hard to explain. people that know my mom and i understand, they can just tell how we are together. Example? I had an issue with my Chemistry teacher last year, and my mom called him. He said at the end of the call “I can tell youre her mom, you two have the exact same inflections” This man was on the phone with my mother for all of 5 minutes. Also, if you take a picture of me at age 5 and a picture of my mom at age 5, you cannot tell the difference.
So basically my mom is just another Me. She is my rock, complete support system. But she cant always help me.. she doesnt always understand my depression, even though she has some depression problems herself. (My depression is Clinical. Its all the time. My moms comes and goes.. so she gets how i feel sometimes, but not always)
My mom is my best friend, sister, mom, twin, my everything. She is the reason i stay here.
I dont think i could put her through having to bury her only daughter. A parent should never have to bury their own child.. i could never let my mother see my cuts, scars.. or my dead body dangling from a tree branch, or from the ceiling.. of finding my naked dead body drowned in the bath tub after taking so many sleeping pills.
I just cant do that to her.. i will post a part two about my mother later.. i am tired. very long day, long week.. read next post to know
4 comments
i hear you. i never realised how much I loved my Mother. Yesterday I almost “did it” and she caught me and checked up on me about 10 times that nite. I acted like I was still sleeping but I knew she came in my room. Dont think she slept alll night.
Yep. Know that feeling. I am always thinking of effective methods that will not traumatize loved ones. If I didn’t have my little daughter I would have been gone already.
I would have left this earth 4 years ago if it wasnt for her.. i was so close to doing it to.. i stood there ready to jump and let my neck snap.. but then my phone rang.. it was my mom.
I knew that i couldnt do it..
I knew i had to stay, at least for a little longer.
a little longer my ass! its been 4 fucking years and im still here!!
Guess my time will come when it is suppose to..
I feel similarly to you about my mother. I guess we just have to do the best we can to keep on surviving cos we are lucky enough to have someone so amazing in our lives. I know it’s hard tho and not always that straightforward x