Though I’m not suicidal, for some reason I registered. But, that is not the point.
I suffer from migraines. Anxiety. Abusive family. Depression. Bullies. (used to get bullied) Possible back problems, and some other things. And guess what? It appears I have a mask stuck to my head and can only express my true feelings for the world via Internet. Why? The feeling of annomynouity  (sp?). Though it may not really be that hidden, it is all I need to get these feelings out into the open.
So basically, the top of my emotions is: Trapped. By death and time. (yet I don’t believe in time, just the objects that are moving. Just motion.) Death is inescapable, but it itself does not scare me. (sure, saddens me. Greatly.) It is the aftermath of death. I’m agnostic. (unsure of religion) AKA there is a chance that I cease to exist after death. This haunts me. Infact, I’m on the verge of tears just typing this. Yes, it would not matter if I ceased to exist. But that is what scares me. Having no thoughts. Not me. Just a void of nothing. And that is why, in my own mind, I reject religion that you are reborn/reincarnated. I love the concept but, that person, who would be me, as it would be my matter, my engry, is not me. Not where it counts, anyways. That “me” could have the best life and I wouldn’t care. This life is me, and this life is what matters to me.
Now add in migraines to this way of thinking. What do you get? A very confused person; you want to die yet don’t. I’m quite pathetic when I have a migraine, whining, whispering “help me” to nothing.
And now back to religion! Guess, what, if there is a God, he/she either; Â hates me, hates everyone, is busy and ignoring most, “a kid with an ant farm”, generally sadistic (creating life that can only live by destroying other life?), creating the start of life then walking away, etc. if that is not it, I must be pretty darn evil! I appreciate that I chage life, and call me greedy, but that is not enough.
24 comments
Imperishable,
My opinion is that everyone can believe in what they want. But it saddens me to see people blame God for generally everything. I’m not blaming you, no. I’m agnostic myself, but I’ve read the Bible and it gives every answer man has ever asked it. Why the pain and sadness, why everything.
I’ll ask a philosophical question;
There’s a classroom full of students and one teacher. The teacher writes a math problem on the board then proceeds to explain how it can be solved, then writes down the answer. There’s this one kid in class, who is a rebel. He stands up and says, “That’s not how you do it!” How do you think the teacher should solve this problem?
As for everything else, we will be here to help. We’ll listen to your pain and we’ll advise you. You WILL get better. We will ensure it 😀
*Point you to alan watts* Take on some of the eastern ideas of secular Buddhism. I don’t care for all the metaphysical crap but it makes sense when you think about it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGXctw8IuGA
But honestly, you just kinda have to suck it up and get on with stuff. It’s great that you’re thinking about all these things (Shows a little intelligence), and honestly most of it is true. It may just make you feel worse, but remember exactly what you are. And that is, you are you. And you are now.
Most of it is covered in the above vid.
It’s not that I’m blaming god, it’s more of (in my opinion) he/she’d either (I forgot to mention this one) is either powerless to an extend, unaware, ‘testing us’ (if he/she is all knowing, though, why would he/she need to test us? So if this were true, he/she would not be all knowing) etc.
Either way, I thank you for responding.
And to answer the philosophical question in what in my opinion, the answer to that. (it is only philosophical, so it will differ person to person)
The teacher can ask why the student thinks otherwise, and to explain his/her reasoning. For all we know, the teacher could be incorrect and the student had some new found knowledge. But you’d only know by listening and testing the theory.
I’ll answer to your philosophical reasoning with what the Bible says;
The kid is wrong, but the teacher lets him try and solve the problem himself. Needless to say he can’t do it. The World you see here is because of that kid. But the Holy book also explains that it’ll soon all end.
I don’t really know what to think about the suffering all ending, because of course it would be nice, but at the same time I’m skeptical about it happening. But, I wont deny that it can’t happen.
I hope this helped a little without you having to read the whole Bible for yourself XD
However, if you want help in a different aspect or something else, then ask. I’ll be here to advise 🙂
You can blame the spaghetti monster it’s all his fault.it is what it is. Basically were born it’s like hitting the lotto and from that moment on the odds are against us, time constantly ticks away throw in good luck a little bad luck, things get better or go down the drain, then it depends what you do your decisions also decide what’s going to happen to you, eventually we lose the game and we die.
oops. I copy pasted the wrong youtube link. Derp. Enjoy the dnd, and then watch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3hVc2hWYxg
rocketman,
Good advice, good advice 😀 the spaghetti monster, though, I’d like to eat it!
Thanks, Sinine. And Rocketman. Though none of this really helps, it’s the thought that counts, yeah? “eventually we lose the game and we die” is precisely what I’m scared about though. (and may save money to get cryogenically frozen when I die. Hey, not 100% chance of survival or even if I do get revived, not 100% chance it’ll be this consciousness I have at this life. But better than nothing… creepy? Maybe. Helps with my fear? A tiny bit.)
But anyways, thanks, guys. And yes, Sinine, I hope that does save me from reading it. 😛 The bible creeps me out for some reason. Any religious books do, it is not ’cause I hate the religion or something.
Imperishable,
Well, you can believe whatever you will. There are plenty of religions out there that could suit to your taste. What about the afterlife? True, you could not affect this plane of life anymore, but you’ll stay as yourself.
Also, you may just start changing your views. I’m not telling you to, it’s just that with old age comes more knowledge 🙂 just some brain-food for you. I really want to help 😀
Imperishable,
The only chance you have is have your remains set free to interact with other particles and perhaps some kind of chemical reaction will accrue that turns something about you into something else? A big problem with the frozen idea is the cost not only that why would they want to bring you back? Unless you were Elvis?
rocketman,
Wow… Okay, I get the general gist of what you’re trying to say, but some words may be better left unsaid (case in point “why would they want to bring you back?”) Don’t beat yourself up because of it, but… Just be careful next time, okay? 🙂 some may take it worse than others.
Sinine, I’d be fine with not effecting this plane. My fear is non-existence; I’d be fine with just thoughts but there is a possibility that nothing happens and you are just dead. And I understand you’re trying to help. c: I’m not trying to reject your help; I’m not trying to reject Rocketmans either.
Rocketman, possibly, but my fear causes me to seek out any chance at living longer, I’m afraid. And so? A chance is a chance; either could happen. Though could revive me in a ‘test’, (better way of reviving someone) and it could work, it could not, but why would they risk someones life, who matters more than mine? They wouldn’t and would ‘test’ on a lesser known person. Or maybe people take pride I’m saving people, no matter who. Or maybe I’ll be famous, who knows? I doubt it, but lots of people say I have amazing talent in writing and I am “way beyond my years”.
So you’re still looking for a way to live forever? Well, christianity offers it, because the book says that once the Armageddon has come, all the people who are dead will be resurrected and everyone will live forever.
That’s what the book says anyway. Today’s churches don’t teach that kind of stuff though. There are SOME people who teach it though 🙂
Imperishable,
Ah I get it! You want to LIVE!!!!!!!
OK Then eat 3 nutritional meals a day
Get plenty of sleep
Don’t smoke or drink
And be careful.
And I’m sorry about the “why would they want to bring you back?†comment I would bring you back!
I’m agnostic, as I’ve said, and the reason is I can’t seem to believe. But I can’t seem to disbelieve, either. We have lots of churches were I am, and most of my friends/family are Christian. I’ve been called out before, for (by family) for “having no real religion” and “I will go to hell”.
Though I’m unsure about Christianity, the opinions in it and thoughts aren’t really me, but I’m not atheist either. The only religion I can think of is Satanisim for me. (Just in case you don’t know, not the one where they worship Satan? I’m thinking more of the physical “live life how you want, have fun how you want, but do not harm others”.)
But in reality, I’m unsure and thus Agnostic. Though I thank you for (peacefully) discussing this topic with me.
Rocketman, it’s fine, c: it did not offend me, I know how society works. Not much offends me. I eat good, get lots of sleep, I hate drugs of any sort (and I can’t be near someone smoking, anyways, it gives me a migraine), I’m very careful, etc. (maybe too careful? I’ve phoned the cops on my dad twice. Then again he had that tone of voice… I could tell he was going to hurt someone. He has nearly before, but I prevented him.)
Isn’t it Hedonism, then, if they don’t worship Satan? Just wondering, because I’m not sure.
But I’m really averse to discussing about who teaches the ‘living forever’ religion, or religion in general. Because I know people can get really emotional about it; whether about personal dislike or like.
Do you want to talk about this somewhere else? Or is here fine? Or maybe you don’t even want to continue or want to know? 🙂
Sinine,
Yeah let’s say you throw your ashes in the sea you might come back as a sea monster like GODZILA!
@ Imperishable THANKYOU!
rocketman,
Haha! Being Godzilla would be awesome! Though people would try to kill me all the time. And I’d have a really hard time hiding from people…
Sinine, ah, I’m unsure, too. I’d have to look into that a bit c: and it is fine, we can discuss it here, elsewhere, or stop, you can pick. (uhm, I’m new, so, does this site have messages?)
Rocketman, c: you’re welcome? (For not being offended? I get confused easy. Sorry)
I’m going to go for a bit, I guess. This talk was all I needed for a bit. (Talking can help for up to two weeks for me) c: Thank you and g’luck with life and any problems you have.
I don’t think there is, though I’m not sure either. XD I’m pretty new to this place as well. I can give you my email, if you want? You can message me :3
Alright, byes 🙂
Ceasing to exist doesn’t scare me at all. In fact, it sounds delightful if you ask me. Think about it this way: ceasing to exist is the same as a peaceful, dreamless sleep. Pure bliss. Only you don’t have to ever wake up. That sounds better than any Heaven imo.