the adrenaline upon contact
the instant relief as the first drop of blood emerges
the pain
drowned out my the stinging of your skin
the memories
merely but a tiny thing now
the sobs slow down
breathing heavies
let`s go deeper
maybe i can kill myself
each time you go deeper than you imagine yourself to handle
each time you numb the skin a little
each time it becomes easier to go deep
until one day you find your limit
you find the end
your escape.
5 comments
Please refrain from self harming. It’s such a destructive way of dealing with emotional pain. Maybe you should discuss why you’re feeling this way?
i’ve been self harming myself ever since i could remember, its the only way i know how to deal with this pain. i’ve tried other ways, and although this doesnt even work most of the time, it helps a lot better than the others i’ve tried.
I really love your poem. I also cut and don’t know exactly this feeling, but it’s beautiful because of the way you wrote it down.
oh well im glad! i was aiming for it to turn out better, more poetic, but i gave up and kinda just wrote down what was coming to me.
this though isnt how i always feel when i cut, this is how i’ve been feeling. having a blade to your wrist during moments when suicide is all you can think about is quite tormenting, taunting, it makes me want to go deeper and deeper.. that sort of thing.
if you’d ever want someone to talk to feel free to email me storyofmyscars@hotmail.com
B1urr, thank you for that. You know, when people on this site say good things or something to me it makes me feel like there ARE really nice people in the world, only I haven’t found that kind of people in real life.