I’ll lay here and cry myself to sleep.
Because I’m useless, worthless, pathetic, a waste of space.
I’ll cry because I cannot be what people expect of me and I can’t help people.
I can’t be smart and attend college.
I can’t help my best friend get through her days.
All I am here for is getting used, played, hurt, abandoned.
I mean, it’s okay because it’s only me. As long as everyone else is happy.
Me? I’m fine thanks. it was only 13 cuts and I made sure they weren’t deep… Much.
I’ll just lay here and cry a river. One to swim away in.
5 comments
You are not useless.
You are not worthless.
You are not pathetic.
You are not a waste of space.
You are going to be the person you are. Others’ expectations are their business. It has nothing to do with you.
It is nice to think of wanting to help people. First, though, you must help yourself. All your thinking, efforts, and actions must be for you. Don’t concern yourself about the next person. You must focus on your needs, your dreams, and your future. This is called loving yourself. Taking care of you. Maybe, later, when, you’ve developed supernatural powers of some sort, you can help everyone. But that is not realistic, for now, at least 😉
You are very smart. Look at what you can do! You write so well, for starters. You care. Your heart feels love. It is sensitive to others. That’s special. But you must focus on looking after you 100%, ok.
Attending college, this is possible. You will have to take some steps to make this happen, but it can be done.
Your best friend must discover what resources there are in her life to get through what’s troubling her. It is okay that you can’t help her much. The fact is, you care about her. That is help enough.
Your purpose for being here is not to be used. You are not here to be played with. You can choose not to let yourself feel hurt by what anyone else says or does or fails to say or fails to do.
You are not abandoned. The entire universe is working to support you. The earth is carrying you. The chair that you sit on. You have family.
It’s not okay that everyone else is happy and you’re not. No. It will be okay only when you are happy! Each one of us face choices every day. And, we’re constantly faced with the choice to be happy or not happy. Nobody can take that choice away from us. If we didn’t have choice, we would not be able to change how we feel.
Cutting yourself will result in scars on your beautiful body. You have the power of choice in you.
It’s okay to lay there and cry a river. When you’ve cried enough, I want you to go to a mirror. I want you to say to the person you see there: I’m so sorry. I’m here for you. I love you!
*hugs*
Thank-you.
It means a lot to think someone would sit there and write so much. <3
-hugs-
*hugs* babylove, the world is there for you. It tries to delight you with rain, the breeze comes to caress you, the sun shines so that we can be warm, and so we don’t have to walk in the dark, and then it leaves us for half the day, so we can prepare to sleep and dream and rest. See how nice the planet is to you and me. 🙂
I agree 420% on what peacefuldreams said, took all the words out of my head(:
*hugs RHS* – i have to sleep now – got job interview tomorrow, and it’s 2am already. Catch up later RHS! *big hug*