daddys little girl

ive always been a daddys girl, growing up i always wanted to be with him! every field trip, every camping trip, my dad was the first person i ran to.. my mom and dad split when i was in 5th grade and things started to change.. i saw my dad cry for the first time, i have never seen him so mad. my dad started drinking and became more agressive.. i eventually came out to my parents and my dad didnt mind at all my mom at first was uneasy with it then she came around.. reacently i lost my girlfiend in a car accident, it was really hard and i cant help but blame myself sometimes.. my dad shortly after that kicked me out…nothing has gottin easier.. about a week ago he announced he is getting married and then called to tell me he is shutting off my phone… i have never wanted so badly to die… how can you not want your own child? after all i have done for you being the only kid that even tries to talk to you still… if i died he wouldnt even notice… if he did find out hed probably shrug it off and take another vacation… to be nothing to stair into an empty barrel and wish so badly to be able to see that silver bullet lung for me…