Guilt playing on my mind

Don’t ask why I’m posting this, I’m bot persuading you not to do it. I’m showing you the only reason I’m alive.

Ok…here we go…:

You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready To give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and re-written over ad over again…you take out those razor blades,and cut for the last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time.
A few hours later your little brother knocks on the door to come and tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks your asleep. He tells your mum this, so she goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is wrong.she grabs the paper from your hand and reads it. Sobbing she tries everything to wake you up.she’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to your dad to tell him. “mummy is crying and Sissy won’t wake up!” your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mum, crying,holding onto your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, an he screams. He screams and throws something at your wall. And then falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mum crawls over to him and they sit there, holding onto eachother, crying.
The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The princible tells everyone about your suicide. It takes them a few moments to let it sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they where top hard on you. Those mean popular girls? They think of everything, all those mean things they said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really where. Your ex boyfriend, the one you told everythig to, that broke up with you…he can’t handle it and breaks down crying and runs out the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped to you before others too late. Oh, and your best friend? She’s in shock. She cant believe it, she knew what you was going through, she never thought it would get that bad. Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. So she stands up, walks put the class room and just sinks to the floor shaking, screaming, but no tears come out.
Its a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with a bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was allways the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about the good memories they had with you. Everyones crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself. You parents just told him you died. It’s hurts him a lot. You where his big sister, your where supposed to be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soonas they start lowering your casket into the ground, she looses it. She cries andcries and it doesn’t stop for days.
It’s two Years later, the whole school talk to a counsillor/ therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their jobs. Those mean girls? They all have eating disorders now. That boy who used to tease you? Cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls now. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tries to kill herself , she didn’t succed like you did, bit she tried. Your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night. He does everything you did leading up to your death. You parents..?they fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mum got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all. Either way people will care, theres allways an effect, even if you can’t see it…