Mornings are the hardest.
I wake up and all of my thoughts hit me at once.
This is all in my head, right?
My arms and my legs are completely seperated by my will, my want, to move foreward.
Move foreward? Right. Move foreward….. Right??
The room matches my mind, and I used to break this. All of it.
The light is now on. The room is completely lit up. But for some reason, I still can not see. Not even through my lids.
Do I still even want to be? Be here? I don’t want to be here.
What? Why?
With a matter of 7 hours of sleep, I’m numb. Not loved.
Wait… I’m loved, right? Right…..
It just…. Arrived. It’s stupid. I’m stupid…. Am I?
Yesterday I was high on happiness. Yesterday I wanted to see today…
Today I want nothing. No passions. What is passion?
Am I fucking insane?! I…. I have to be fucking insane.
Withing five minutes of this next 24 hour day, I’ve already asked myself more questions than I’ve asked myself in the past year of my entire life.
I feel ageless. I feel lost.
Actually, not ev en lost. Because if I was lost, that would mean I existed.
Which I don’t. Wait…. Do I? Yesterday I did….. Or did I?
1 comment
The problem with questions is you can never get the answers. So mornings have you wondering.