so the manager acts all nice on the phone to my mom saying how she really likes me. lies! if u really liked me you would treat me with respect and i probably wouldnt hate you. Really wanting to quit still. i have these irrational thoughts thati cant drop. how everyone knows im awkward and stuff well now it sounds stupid but i cant change how i feel it just wont go away!  infact these feeling arent entirely irrational  because my stupid manager  called me shy and nervous a couple of times and infront of my coworkers. little does she know jow sensitive i am and how that hurts abd how hard i am trying.
i am worried about my future . i am turning 19 this year and i still have to do grade 12 and a grade 11 course that ive failed. ive dobe the majority of grade 11 online. i started this year working on my grade 12course online but hinestly didnt have the motivation as it was harder online. even though the social aspect was taken away which really was the harder part. i dont want to quit school, but there are so little options it seems. i am not good in a classroom setting or an overwhelming highschool. i  have always been socially awkward. i have tried going back a number of times but  i have a form of ptsd which keeps mr in the past. for example if i werr to go back to school and connect with  everyone i fear that they will know the real me like they will ask why i am still in highshool and what school i went to before and what classmates i know and they might ask to hangout with them and that woould be very uncomfortable. well thats the best i can explain it right now. i dont know what i am going to do