I still want to kill myself but there’s a few people around me who care. And I don’t want to satisfy the people who hate me cos it means they win. I live like a dog, I wake up each morning and survive. As much as I don’t think like an animal, I have the same existence as one. Blind people who’re totally blind that is, don’t seem to have as much success as most partially blind and sighted people in this fucker of a world. Some sighted people don’t have success, but it seems that the majority of people with disabilities are less successful than most others. Their success might be with some talents that they do have,, some things whicch they still can do. But the success I’m talking about is to have a life without disability, being able to do or not to do things based on your talents, desires, ideologies etc. People with disabilites can and cannot do things, based more on their disability. I am one of these. And I bloody fucking hate that. I’m not knocking the “non-disabled” people who may not have such a successful life. I’m just putting this into perspective. Somehow I’d rather be purposeless in this life for anything other than because of a disability, but that’s onlly my experience right now. If I was totally sighted, nothing else wrong, maybe I’d feel differently and would still complain! So that’s where the oxy-morons start. I still end up saying that I fucking hate where life has put me. And I still end up saying that I could kill myself, but right now I won’t.
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Hey,
I thought as before i tried to end my life and i really tried and almost died. And what i learned in all of that? Life is not easy.As simple as that. I was in deep depression for 6 months and just lost my mind, fuck nothing matters, i am no one a total 0. And i tried to kill myself for 3 times. But why? Why could person take his own life ? Because it is my body and nothing else? Wrong if you are depressed you should talk to others about your shit, talk to others and tell the truth what do you think of your life the earlier you talk the easier it is. Or go see a professional therapist, only thing you could not to is to end it all.
When I was a cab driver, we got to know the regulars. A family of regulars were these blind folks, mom, dad, son, daughter, were all blind, and it was a genetic thing. Linda, Jeff, don’t recall son’s name, Heather. They lived on Pontiac. None of them had ever been sighted, so having Heather was a deliberate decision to bring another blind child into the world. These folks were popular customers, we all liked them.
As far as what and were you can go, the world is less and less dependent on natural sight. Jeff and Linda read braille at lightning speed with their finger tips. You don’t have to learn braille, just touch typing. I learned touch typing in 9th grade, it’s a convenient skill, for anybody.
As far as the advantages of sight go, there are disadvantages too. You don’t look at a burn victim and stare, which the burn victim notices and it hurts them. Don’t believe me? Ask Eric Nelson, formerly of Madison, Wisconsin. Ask him what the greatest gift was at his wedding. That gift was that somebody else was more fascinating to stare at than him, so on his wedding day he had a bit of freedom, nobody stared at him. They were staring at me, which is why I know the story, but my story is a whole other thing.
A salt water fish can’t live in fresh water. An animal with a heavy coat can’t live in a tropical climate. There are places where they’re pretty well adapted, and they are comfortable, and they don’t make a lot of effort to leave their comfortable environment.
Look out for number ONE. There’s a place for you, all you lack is knowing where it is and how it works. It might turn up for you this very afternoon. It’s not guaranteed to ever turn up, but if you watch for it, chances are better that you’ll notice it. And bear in mind, some people watch with their finger tips, some with their ears, what ever they got and use.