“you think you want to die, but in reality, you just want to be saved.”

So i was a happy girl, and i had friends, best-friends infact, i was chubby and proud, and never wore make up and honestly could’nt care less..and then when it hit year 9 everything changed, i got fed up of the ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ comments, and could’nt take it anymore, i went on the laptop alot and looked on websites like tumblr, but more importantly i looked at blogs like thinsperation.  At first i just looked but never did anything, and then i started to starve myself in crave of a thigh gap and collar bones. I stopped eating completely and gave up on food. Halfway through year 9 i lost so much weight its unreal but i still wasnt happy, my friends got concerned in the way i stopped eating, so instead what did i do? I ate so much every single day, and my friends were comforted with these thoughts, but what they didnt know is i went home, and hung over the toilet sticking my fingers down my throat, and purged everyday, it was only the beginning of year 10 i started to self harm, all up my legs, scars and i can hardly look at them. I spend almost every night in tears in bed, or worse, lifeless and barricaded into my room with sad music on thinking, ‘why, just why. why did it have to be me?’ and ‘i want to die’ ive had arguments with all my friends, i push them all away, and i have no one, but im starting to realise, just stop and think about everything before killing yourself, your family, friends, even pets, you mean something, and you were put in this world for a reason.