Last night i broke down. Just completely lost it…again. i thought i was better, i thought i was fine. I obviously thought wrong. It happened out of nowhere. I don’t know what triggered it, i don’t understand. I was watching a movie, it wasnt a sad movie, and i just started crying. Started thinking. I had this urge, this itch, something was pulling me, egging me on. I had to cut, i had to let this pain out. So i did. And then i realized how much of a fuck up i am. I just threw three months of being self harm free down the […]
Tag:
Toilet
Sometimes all we really want to do is shut out the world. Crawl into our bed, pull the blankets over our heads, and blast some depressing songs. I can completely relate to this. My parents say that i need to get out more and i need to come out of my room more frequently but my room is my sanctuary. It’s where i feel the safest. My blades, my “Torture Toys”, my laptop, my phone.. these are all in my room.
My boyfriend used to wonder why i dont talk much or why i look sad all the time. he didnt understand that i had just […]
I am new here. I attempted suicide about 3 weeks ago, twice in less than 24 hours. The first time I was found by my siblings who got into my house and the second time, I was found by the police. I ended up in the hospital unconscious for two days and spent a further day in a ward with old people, who were bed ridden. I was under constant observation, not even able to go to the toilet unattended. As a psychology student, it was one of the most degrading and humiliating experiences of my life. I felt so ashamed facing my family after […]
New here. Paralyzed from bicycle accident, don’t want to live this way
by bitbucket
written by bitbucket
Hey, I’m new here. I wrote in my profile about my situation. I’m partially paralyzed from a spinal cord fracture due to a bicycle accident.
I went from being a buf, muscled and toned gym rat to having shriveled arms hanging from bony shoulders, walking like I’m drunk and
needng help with everything, dresing, showering, toilet, etc. I don’t want to live this way any more.
I’ve worked hard in phys therapy and exercise to try to regain my abilities, but it’s closing in on 18 months, and
that’s when spinal cord injuries stop healing. So I’m pretty much stuck the way I am for […]
Hey, my name is Jack.
today has been a pretty shit day, just like every other day I guess. In year 7 is when it all started, my dad stopped being my dad.
Dad was working in the Air Force and previously worked in the navy for years, so he is a respectable man. Although while i was in year 7, he got discharged from the air force for injuring his knee and neck. Now I’m 18, I finished school last year, I hated school. I hated the teacher, I hated the education, i hated the school in general. Everyone is so stupid, i honestly felt like one of the smartest people in the […]
Over the course of my short 26 years of life, I have attempted suicide on no less than 8 occasions.
From the age of 11, I was bullied at school, tormented and tortured by grown men who’d wait for me after school and not to mention the troubles I was working through at home and struggling to admit the fact that I am gay, even to myself.
All of this plus a few other reasons landed me in therapy.
From the age of 11 onwards I saw one psychotherapist after another and I’ve been on so many medications that it’s hard to be certain of the exact number. […]
So i was a happy girl, and i had friends, best-friends infact, i was chubby and proud, and never wore make up and honestly could’nt care less..and then when it hit year 9 everything changed, i got fed up of the ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ comments, and could’nt take it anymore, i went on the laptop alot and looked on websites like tumblr, but more importantly i looked at blogs like thinsperation. Â At first i just looked but never did anything, and then i started to starve myself in crave of a thigh gap and collar bones. I stopped eating completely and gave up on food. […]
I used to have thoughts of hiding under a car tire, and waiting for a family member to back up. I just couldn’t go through with it. Through the past 11 years of my life I’ve been completely miserable. There has been a series of unfortunate events that lead me to where I am today: living in a shitty apartment alone, no friends, hardly talk to family, education going down the toilet, and terrible insomnia. I’ve been doing some research on suicide methods, and I want to go via ********. But, it seems like there are many failed attempts. Anyone have any advice?
My last post “no energy“ was posted on Sunday.
Monday i woke up for school, was very hot, but didn’t think much of it. i got up and felt really ill and my belly was tossing and turning, so i went to the toilet.
But on my way to the toilet i went the dizziest i’ve ever been, then i blacked out. Next thing i know i am on the toilet floor with my dad picking me up, then i blacked out again, i couldn’t have fainted again… could i? i woke up on the hall way floor and my dad peering over me saying my name over and over again.
I […]
“It’s dying, It’s dying!” They all cry,
Your heart got far too close to mine,
And now it’s ripping, breaking inside,
My body breathes a sigh of relief as it’s time.
I can hear it in the wind, I can feel it on my skin,
“Just one more time, you’ll feel much better ” I can’t let these voices in.
“Please don’t desert us, we were always there for you,
On those lonely nights when you were lost and didn’t know who to turn to.
Self harm? No harm! What harm can it do? They take me away cause they know it hurts you.”
Now she’s […]
So this will be a long one. I am 20 years old and a trainee hairdresser, I had Meningitis when I was 4, I live with my boyfriend and my housemates in a house share, I have depression and anxiety and I cannot cope with my emotions. I suppose things started to be difficult for me when I was 8 years old, I had a pyscological issue where everytime I got in the car I needed to go to the toilet desperately, this was also at a time when my Dad hit me quite frequently. I saw a therapist about the problem and it was all […]
I was reading on here a couple of weeks ago, and I saw something that someone said and it really stuck with me. They said “I’m not a person who wants to be alive. Im just a person who’s too afraid to die.” That pretty much sums me up. I don’t get a kick out of living. I don’t go to bed at night thinking of all the wonderful things I get to do tomorrow and aren’t I just so darn lucky that I get to just be alive?! No. I go to bed hoping I won’t wake up. But I always do. I would […]
People always say things would be better in the morning. They aren’t. I wake up and feel the same way and have the same problems. I wish i was dead. I wanted to die last night, and realized that I threw my pills down the toilet a few months ago. I stopped the meds the doctors gave me, so, I had nothing to take. They were anti depressants. I can’t even cut myself, because, I can’t stand the smell of blood. There isn’t a tall enough building around to jump off, and getting transport now is a *****. I can’t get into any of the […]
Yeah 2 posts in, how much? 3 days? maybe it’s just 2. This is kinda sad. Cause I mean, the thing that I’m writing here, in a language which is not even mine, makes me realise how damn lonely I am here and, well, to feel so lonely to decide to write on a web site twice in 3 days or something it’s kinda depressing. As if I wasn’t depressed even before. But, as always, I’m fucking procastinating.
And the thing is that I’m fucking procastinating cause I don’t wanna get to the point. Cause the point has been just in front of my eyes for days […]
Can’t take it. Just sitting in our class-room. Doing a assignment. Can’t even think. ………
Just have a bad day. A fuckd up day. The thing is, I don’t know why  ;'( .
Just a little cutting in the toilet with my favorit tool should do it .
I hate feeling the way that ”we” do. I hate feeling so sad and lonely all the time. I hate having to pretend all the time, transforming myself into someone else in order to “fit in” and be liked. I just want to let it all out, let the darkness take over and let the world see how depressed and messed up i really am.
I was raped many times by my older brother when i was younger. But i was so young that i didn’t know what rape was, and so i i thought it was okay what my brother made me do and […]
My name is Taylor. I’m 17 years old. And I’m ready to go…Â Â I’ve been bullied since I was 9. And even before that I always had trouble making friends. I have Asbergers Syndrome, and thus its painfully hard for me to talk to people. I’ve been to about 11 schools. I kept dropping out and going switching schools. I couldn’t handle the bullying. But the thing is, even though the setting changed the story never did. I always got picked on and left out. Id come home crying everyday. In 9th grade the bullying hit a peak. I went to a small private school then, […]
I am a shy eighteen year old girl, and have been a victim of bullying for the past nine years.
It first started when I was in the 5th grade and had moved to a new school. I was allocated a new friend to help me find my feet, but instead I had someone who would emotionally abuse me for the next three years. I told my mom in the 7th grade – she said she was mad at my “friend”, but she never did anything about it. All she could say was, “It’s a phase; it’ll pass.” I never told her about the other girl […]