I know im only 15 and many people will say i dont know enough and i havent experienced enough to give advice. I agree in a sense. I wont be able to give you advice on college classes or whats the right way to drive, but i can help with depression and suicide. Its what i have lived with for half my life and yet it confuses me and takes me on a ride sometimes, i have found ways to cope and i have learned that helping others makes me feel better. I am willing to help anyone.
Im not the only one who struggles with this and im aware of that. I had a very close family friend shoot himself when i was little. This was before i could even start to understand what had actually happened to that friend i loved. A few months ago my friend overdosed. I will never see him again and then my two best friends who i love more than words can even explain, both attempted suicide in the past 6 months. The guy i love with all my heart has tried 9 times in the past year. There are so many more that happen, but these are just the few that affected me.
My advice isnt to be happy or just smile because anyone that really struggles with depression knows thats bullshit and if it was that easy we would all be happy.
We all were born for a reason. This might be to have a certain occupation as an adult or to have a family. Some of ours are to   make a difference or change the world. I believe mine is to save lives. I believe that i am here to help people who struggle with depression, addiction, and mental illness because i have fought it for such a long time.
I fight everyday to stay alive and i want to help others so they dont have to fight as much.
Like i said we are all born for a reason. We all have atleast one person who loves us yet we struggle to love ourselves. We need to learn to love ourselves and we need to let people in to help us. This is my biggest struggle. I dont open up and i bury everything deep down inside me and cover it with a fake smile so people never will know how i really feel.
We all rely on each other and we express our feelings and tell our stories on here. We need each other.
Stay strong. Dont let mean words bring you down and every morning wake up like its a fresh start. You may wake up and look in the mirror and know you dont feel good and know that it wont be a great day but give it a chance. Learn to love yourself and let people in. Set your goal everyday to live one more day. I promise it will get better.
This may sound cliche but here i go. You are like a butterfly trapped in the cocoon. You fight and fight. You are fighting for your life and you are so close to death but then one day you will break through this. You will reemerge and look back on that as a struggle but it helped you become a better person. Then you will be able to look at the world in a different point of view. You will no longer be stuck on the ground looking at all the problems face on you will look over them and see it with a different point of view because you will be a better person.
Stay strong and know that when the pain and suffering is over, you will be a better person.
Life will get better. It always does.
1 comment
OMFG! Wow. Thanks for that! Please keep writing on here, that post was inspiring! My feelings are always up and down. One day I’m good, one day I’m bad. I know what depression is like, you can’t just snap out of it. I know too many people have bullshit ideas about it. I guess I can relate to your post better because you’ve been there and done that, just like I have. I mean with trying to kill myself a few times, a relative killing himself years ago, and my grandparents didn’t give a fuck, just told me to stop sooking.
Maybe we are born here for a reason? I don’t believe in that, but I’ll consider what you’ve written. You might consider me to be a pesimist, which I could admit that I friggen am one. I try to be an optimist, till I realise neither pesimism or optimism improves my life any. Optimism makes me feel good andd I can fake that life is fine. Pesimmism makes me feel bad and realise that life is really how it is: Bad. When I try to feel good, I’m just faking happiness. When I feel bad, that’s the honest truth. I could take some of my prescription painkillers so I can sleep this depression off for six hours and pretend that I’m not in any physical pain. But today I won’t. I’ll wait till I’m definitely in a lot of pain again, then I’ll get more depressed. I am truly happy that my doctors have found a way out of my situation finally. That’s true happiness. I guess I can go with what you said and cling to anything that makes me genuinely happy, even if that happiness is the only thing I can feel good about. something to keep me going, something that will eventually turn into a better life for me.
I don’t know how long it’ll take for me to have a better life, but I don’t deal with problems easily. So hopefully I can stay aliive till then.