You’re supposed to protect your best friend, right?
Make them feel better.
Help them get through the bad times.
But it can be pretty fucking hard to do sometimes.
At least, that’s what I tell myself. Im just absolutely ashamed of myself.
My best friend is dead.
I was supposed to protect him. Why couldnt I?!?!
They say God only gives you what he expects you can handle, but how am I supposed to deal with this? One of my best friends has cancer, and the other one is dead! God expects a fucking ton from me.
How could I let this happen? I let my friend slip through my fingers. He’s gone. and I cant save him. He said he’d always prtect me, but I didnt do the same. Im such a horrible person.
I tried. and tried. and tried. But I couldnt get him to come back to life. I have prayed for me to wake up from this nightmare. I held onto him and sat by his side until they pulled the plug.
And I cant go through it again. If my friend dies of cancer, Im going with her.
But I know I wont meet her in heaven.
I’ve screwed up too many times. I’ve ruined lives.
I just want my childhood back. I had no regrets and I still had my best friend. Some friend I am.
2 comments
You did all that you could to help them, so that makes you a good friend in my books. There is only so much that you can do anyhow. It’s up to God to decide who lives and who dies. Your friend’s time was up. But it isn’t your time to go just yet. Let’s pray that your other friend can beat cancer. 🙂
im sorry, but I disagree with you on basicly everything. I didnt do everything and I dont really belive in god. Ive prayed and god has laughed in my face. And I didnt know that god liked killing off little kids. My friends time was just begining. Im sorry, I apreciate the support.