That will be my one crowning achievement in my worthless fucking existence. I want her to find my bruised bloody corpse and know that she is the reason for it.
cyanidesofmarch, I’m not sure who ‘she’ is, but i can identify. i have fantasies of suiciding in my car outside a family member’s house. But i’m really mad at lots of people and myself and life in general.
I don’t want to kill myself with anger as the motive. That seems a waste of my life for someone else (yet again) and that doesn’t feel like dying on my own terms. I still plan, most days, to depart, but hope i can work through some of the targeted anger first.
I’m definitely motivated by anger. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, I know anger makes me feel alive. Alive enough to kill myself, if that makes any sense. Better than being the worthless lump of protoplasm that I am when at rest. I have no doubt that I’ll die in a suicidal rage. I’m counting on it
Me as well. I’m going to hike up the mountains and blow my face off. At 25 I will make a beautifully repulsive corpse. By the time I’m found they’ll need Bones to identify me. 😀
nope, its just the sheer level of sickness and hatred depression can cause, such a fury of thoughts, emotions, concepts ideas that you are willing to do anything, no matter how sick to try end the pain…
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If it was that simple, even i would have “done it” before.
cyanidesofmarch, I’m not sure who ‘she’ is, but i can identify. i have fantasies of suiciding in my car outside a family member’s house. But i’m really mad at lots of people and myself and life in general.
I don’t want to kill myself with anger as the motive. That seems a waste of my life for someone else (yet again) and that doesn’t feel like dying on my own terms. I still plan, most days, to depart, but hope i can work through some of the targeted anger first.
I’m definitely motivated by anger. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, I know anger makes me feel alive. Alive enough to kill myself, if that makes any sense. Better than being the worthless lump of protoplasm that I am when at rest. I have no doubt that I’ll die in a suicidal rage. I’m counting on it
Me as well. I’m going to hike up the mountains and blow my face off. At 25 I will make a beautifully repulsive corpse. By the time I’m found they’ll need Bones to identify me. 😀
Well, maybe you’re right. i’m so frozen and depressed right now I can’t do what’s necessary to do what’s necessary to exit.
Feeling increasingly desperate. Is it really morally wrong for me to try to get someone else angry or scared enough to shoot me to death?
nope, its just the sheer level of sickness and hatred depression can cause, such a fury of thoughts, emotions, concepts ideas that you are willing to do anything, no matter how sick to try end the pain…
Yep. I no longer have the ability to get the necessary supplies to do myself in. I’m dead inside, would do anything to be dead outside too.