Im 18, in November of 2012 I was in a bad car accident. I had a head on collision with a tree, as a result i mangled my leg and have and face several surgeries and a year and half of recovery. This isnt the first time ive felt like ending it all im a ex drug and alcohol abuser. After my accident I thought id have people there for me, but the people I call friends have forgotten bout me. Mostly because I cant and don’t want to party anymore, sometimes I wish I had just died that night. Recently ive also found out the sports I love That I can no longer play. I just feel lost im dabbling in drugs and alcohol again just to feel sane. The worst part is I play two parts in public im happy to be alive and fighting with a positive attitude. But on the inside everyday becomes harder and harder to bear as I begin to lose me identity.
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Have you asked people why they seem to not bother?…could it be they feel awkward because you can’t party with them or could it be because like most of my ” friends ” they are in fact shameless self centred a.holes?..I know how you feel having one face for the public putting on that mask and in private you take it off and just feel dead inside?..sorry I’m a bumbler I’m also bi-polar insomniac here for a shoulder if you need one x
you’re still young, you have a lot more years to find a new identity.
We’re you drunk or on drugs when you crashed your car into that tree?
In my friends eye’s I think theyve seen me changed and dont want to bother because im not the same person I was before. That night as far as everyone around me knows I had two beers but in reality I drank quite a bit. I was charged with nothing part of me feels guilty about that.