Apathetic

These days I am increasingly struggling to find a reason to keep going. Everytime I go outside I feel that everyone is looking and judging me, analysing my every awkward move. Walking on the pavement/sidewalk towards oncoming traffic is the worst as It just feels like a barrage of people staring at you, judging you. I hate thinking this way and I know its not rational, but I cant shake it, its like I am defined by my anxiety. Even when I succeed at something, theres always a voice saying I should have done better- endless quest for perfection? then what?  I think what is making matters worse is that for the past four years I have had a strict regime of study and received marks which helped bolster my self esteem. However, since graduating I have yet to find a job and feel incredibly hopeless and lied to (I recieved a 1st class degree which i foolishly presumed equated to instant job offers). Every day is just tedious, my optimism is shot and I am becoming more introverted and withdrawn than I ever was, and I really dont know what to do…