I was thinking of memories of the past. All the friends I never really had, and all the people that left me. I would give anything to return to then, even though it was shit, it was better. At least I couldn’t see that my friends were being decided by my parents, or that the school lunchtime supervisors were told to spy on me, or that I had been manipulated to want certain things and go to certain schools. No, I couldn’t see any of that. I even still believed my parents cared about me then. Ignorance really is bliss.
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This is so much like myself. I would so much like to bring my past back, even though it never was good enough, it wasn´t at least so bad as it is now. I was ignorant of many things, too. I believed my dream would one day come true, and I´d finally be free from the shackles of my darn family. I was wrong, but it was bliss. I miss the feeling now, but nothing can be returned in the long run. We only have to get used to it.
miss Holly, that is very true – that we have to get used to it, but sometimes it feels so hard… I’m glad I was ignorant back then, if I wasn’t then I would’ve most surely committed suicide by now!