Don’t Leave Me.. I Love You..

Garrett’s moving. I’m never going to see him again. It just makes me want to tell him how I feel… But I just can’t. I won’t be hurt again. I refuse. I deserve better. I fucking deserve better than what I’ve got. I deserve happiness. I deserve love.  Or maybe I don’t. I mean, how much can be taken away before I have nothing? I feel like I’m completely gone already. I feel like my heart’s been cut out. Ripped out, more like. I just want Garrett… I really do. But he’s gone. Today was his last day. I should have told him. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. And as much as I want to, I can’t do this again. Ever. So what if there’s happy moments in between? There’s a lot longer sad ones. I just want to sit back and watch life. I don’t feel like living it anymore. I wish I could get someone to live it for me. I just don’t want to. And when I die, I hope that there isn’t reincarnation. One life is bad enough. I’ve wanted to cry, but honestly, I’m far too sad to cry. I’m losing someone that I love so, so much. He’s a great friend, and I wish I could have told him how I feel, but I was afraid. I don’t want to get hurt like this again. I don’t know if I get hurt worse by not doing anything, or by doing something, but I guess it’s time to find out. No more “Oh, I like this guy”. No. None. No more “I think he likes me!” either. I’m just done.