I can’t take it anymore

I hate who I am. I hate that I’m so afraid to fail that I’m not even living my life anymore. I don’t have anyone to talk to.. I’ve tried explaining it to my parents but they just get angry with me and tell me they don’t even care what I do anymore. They don’t know that I cry myself to sleep every night, pray that I don’t wake up in the morning, or that I have suicidal thoughts all the time. I wish I could just end my life but I’m too much of a coward and the last time I tried I failed anyways.