I was just going through my old pictures when I stumbled across my pictures from 2009 summer pictures. I didn’t think anything of it until I found the pictures of my friends. We spent basically the whole summer together. It made my chest hurt, just seeing my smile and all of my friends together. We haven’t really been like that since our friend Andrew killed himself.
We had our little “gang.” four girls, four guys. There was me, Kelsey, Anna, Shiney(real name), Max, Henry, Andrew, and Toby.
We were always happy and having fun. Then, when Andrew killed himself last June, it was like a piece was torn away from us all. Then Kelsey got cancer and she couldn’t hang out as much, and another piece was gone. We try to get together now but it’s not the same. It doesn’t feel right. We used to be inseparable, but now we barely talk. It sucks.
In those old pictures we looked so happy, like the world was perfect. I guess it took our friends being taken away for us to realize that it’s not. It’s cold, dark, and scary. It still hurts to see Andrew, even in pictures. I found one of my picture collages of him. I made one for each of my friends. I had totally forgotten about them until now. In his, in every picture ha had a different super hero shirt. I remember how much he loved Marvel and DC and etc. He wore snapbacks and skateboarding shoes. He was such a tryhard badass. But I loved him. I saw him for what he was; sweet, funny, awesome. He was happy then, we all were. None of the others feel the same though. I was the closest to him. One can only imagine how sad it feels to look back at the happy times, when your world is collapsing. It’s painful.
I have been talking to Toby and Shiney lately though. And Henry and I are friends again. I guess it’ll get better, but usually these things don’t turn out well for me.
“Pictures will be the bloody end of me if I have to see him again. I loved that bugger with all my heart. To have him gone is unbearable, even for a girl like me, who wouldn’t cry even if her eyes were dehydrated. I’ve discovered medicine to fix everything from syphonymphomus to theatyran, but I can’t find a bloody medicine to fix this bloody broken heart.”
~Nine; What is Behind Us
I love that book. Wattpad is amazing.
1 comment
Same with me and my friends. It was always me, Margo, and Hero. Halfway through 6th grade, Margo and Hero started fighting ALL the time, and I felt like the 3rd wheel.. Then for some reason, there was a line drawn between them and my other friends, including my best friend. Then 7th grade came, and we were separated. We don’t talk much now.