shouldve known
no good for nothing
no good for loving
no good for anything
except
hate
cruelty
abuse
death.
shouldve know i shouldnt have tried to be happy
shouldnt have wound myself up in a lie
shouldnt have tricked my mind into thinking im loved
shouldnt have even breathed today
or yesterday
all the yesterdays
shouldve known
my life is nothing
no matter what i do to try to change that
it always will be
even secretly.