While loneliness is a major issue for me, it appears there are many others whose mindset is similar to mine, a desire to end it. While many of you are younger, and I am not, I seek someone to share one last road trip with. To the Lost Coast and Redwood forests of northern California. Starvation/dehydration will be my method. A few final days of music, nature, and a final enjoyable meal. I am not abusive or aggressive in any way, which is part of my problem, we meek and humble sorts just don’t function well in a dog-eat-dog world. Anyone?
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@InTheKeyofE Man, dehydration is a horrible way to go… You’ld need imense strength to pull it off… You know… it’s good that you’re not aggressive… that you’re a good person… What if there was hope… real hope? Would you be willing to stay around and give it a try? What do you say? 🙂
If I run into hope on my journey north, I will certainly examine it. Should I not meet up with it, I will lie down and play my harmonicas until I no longer can. I suppose I am drawn to the slow death this method allows, I just am not into violence, and could not blow my brains out. Some of the other methods I have read about on here, helium, etc., just seem too technical and contrived.
@InTheKeyofE You’re right… this world is so evil, so violent… and it’s only getting worse each day… So many good people suffer… and I know you’re here because you’ve suffered a lot too… But did you know that God will soon change this evil world? In the Bible he promised:
“For evildoers themselves will be cut off,
But those hoping in Jehovah are the ones that will possess the earth.
And just a little while longer, and the wicked one will be no more;
And you will certainly give attention to his place, and he will not be.
But the meek ones themselves will possess the earth,
And they will indeed find their exquisite delight in the abundance of peace.” (Psalms 37:9-11)
What do you think of such a promise? Would you like to see it happen? 🙂
Been there, done that…….even studied for the ministry for a spell. Well before this suicidal tendency came on I came to recognize that religion is one of the methods used to control people. If God were pure love would he allow innocent babies to be burned with phosphorus gas or depleted uranium? I think not. I still believe in a Creator, I just know that he/she/it is darker and even more mysterious than the fairy tales in any man conceived or written book. It is cool that you have faith in such stories though, I don’t judge you for it, and I even appreciate the effort, it is likely sincere and well meaning. The thing is religion has done much more harm than good for humanity, and God is more than welcome to reveal “truth” any time now. What is it that is holding things up? Not yet enough “sin” in the world to satisfy the lust for blood?
@InTheKeyofE Yes, you’re right that most religions have brought a lot of harm to the world… But this not God’s fault. The Bible says: “When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.†For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone.” (James 1:13) So you see… God is not the one responsible for all the evil in the world… He has a good reason for why he ALLOWS all the evil to happen… for now. Would you like to know WHY God allows all the suffering in the world?
at the age of 9 i lay in bed i stopped all food and water i said i was sick i didnt feel hungry the food they brought i put it in a plant pot at first then under the bed then under my pillow not only did i go into a coma for more than 2 weeks but i did die and i dont suggest this method as it is insane yes there was bliss and god but there was hellish realms and fkin crazy shit u cant make up dont do this unless ur fully prepared to let go of life this is hardcore method and its fkin scary in the end they injected me with all kinds and saved me out of my coma but to be aware and free elsewere while ur body is eating itself and ur supposed to be unconcious is just a lie dont do it not in such a fast dramatic way its more than pain its hell
I know the supposed reason, I just don’t believe it to be true. Personally, I believe God ENJOYS all the suffering.
@InTheKeyofE You know… God said to the people that listened to him in the past:”For he that is touching YOU is touching my eyeball”(Zechariah 2:8) Does that sound like he enjoys when people suffer? He knows everything that we feel… and he cares for each and every one of us.
Hmmm… I’m curious… What do you think is the reason why God allows suffering? Tell me and I’ll tell you what I know myself… 🙂
@inf1in1……I feel for you. At 9 I was building forts and climbing trees and catching bees in glass jars. Nearing 60 now I have known for a long time that things are not what they seem. I first saw that in kindergarten during the “red scare” when they had us hide under our desks to “prepare” for the possible nuclear attack the Russians might soon unleash. Now, I had seen black and white footage of what happens when a nuke hits, and even my feeble mind of 6 was wise enough to know that hiding under the desk would accomplish nothing. I couldn’t figure it out then, but know now it was done to create fear and to ensure that little johnny and jill would grow up hating Russians and buying into war propaganda. Nothing has changed since 1960, in fact it gets worse and the public is compliant and diverted, all according to plan.
@just.me.20. God is content to allow humans to do themselves in. We are a failed species. The earth has plenty to feed, house, clothe, and care for ALL of its inhabitants. But, that is not how things worked out. Some have much, many have some, and many more have nothing. Greed and selfishness have far outdistanced compassion and concern, and I see no future for this dying planet. I no longer buy into the concept that God is going to show up st the 11th hour to save the day. That is delusion.
@InTheKeyofE Yes… so many people don’t see a future anymore for this world… And it’s true… All the polution of the Earth… diseases, violence everywhere… But did you know that all of these worsening conditions have long been prophecised? And… think about this… If God exists and he has created us… don’t you think he would have a purpose for us? A purpose that he would want us to know? What do you think?
God didnt create all of us, he created man and man became infected in the soul by ways of hell as the earth attacked. these ways became followed and believed in, which led to the way people are now.
@keyofe .. I actually can relate with alot you say. I would offer myself for the journey but I aint American.
@ Painman Yes, God created the first man and woman… After they dissobeyed him, God banished them from the garden where they first lived… But he allowed them to live for a while so they could have children… Even so, God imediately promised that he would revert the harm done… and that his initial purpose will still be accomplished. The purpose being that the Earth would be inhabited by perfect, happy humans… Do you believe God will keep his promise? 🙂
I believe that a world of perfect humans ‘can’ be a reality, but in order for that to happen man (and woman) need to FINALLY learn from their mistakes, which unfortunately they never have done, mostly to do with pride and the belief in people that they are already ‘ok’. You’ve got to fall to climb!
@just.me.20…….I have stated what I think, and truthfully a theological discourse is not why I appear here, I was looking for something else.
@Painman…….you are fortunate to live elsewhere. The USA, in the words of singer/songwriter Iris DeMent has become “The Wasteland of the Free.” It is no wonder so many young people are so messed up, we are passing to them a nation with no soul. Plenty of Christians, but no soul.
@Painman Yes, a perfect world can be possible… But does it seem that things are getting any better? No, I don’t think so… The oposite, actually… In the last hundred of years disease, war, hunger have killed hundreds of millions of people… And things are only getting worse… But God promises that he will soon intervene and change this evil world. In 2 Peter 3:13 it says: “But there are new heavens and a new earth that we are awaiting according to his promise, and in these righteousness is to dwell.” What do you say? Would you like to live in such a world? 🙂
@InTheKeyofE I understand you… and I respect your choice… All I want to say is… What if you’re wrong?… Anyways… I hope you’ll find your peace… 🙂
@just.me.20: Early Christians thought Christ was coming back soon as well. Little did they know 2000 years would pass without a peep from the heavens. This thread was nauseating to read. Please keep your religion to yourself unless someone asks for it. No one enjoys being preached to; InTheKeyofE was shockingly civil despite your insistence.
@InTheKeyofE: Sorry your life sucks. While I understand your reluctance to use the methods you mentioned, starvation/dehydration is way worse than either of those. Once your body reaches a certain point, it will compel you to find sustenance and your last moments will be spent frantically searching for food and water. Not peaceful. Not pleasant. No one would take you up on your offer even if you were the nicest, most harmless man in the world.
I’m very sorry you’re so lonely. That much I can agree is awful. One of the ways I cope with loneliness is to spend a lot of time on the Internet. Maybe you can find a chat room or spend more time on various forums. It doesn’t solve anything, but it’s better than what you’re proposing.
So what if I am wrong? What if you are wrong? I think there is a much greater possibility that we are both wrong than there is that either of us is right. Doesn’t matter much either way as things stand right now. Unlike many of the depressed and hurt folks on here, my pain and suffering is perhaps not so intense. It has bubbled and fermented for a long time. It is not irrational or spur of the moment, but rather a natural extension of what has come before. I have experienced joy and success and in relative terms had a pretty good life. The fact that it heads for a conclusion need not be macabre or set those with a mandate to “save” into missionary mode. Why can the decision not be a peaceful one?
Wow. I had no idea there were others who thought like me. I too am looking towards starvation/dehydration, and my hope is to go into the Mojave Desert to spend my last days here. I’ve always wanted to see the Mojave, its 1500 miles from anyone I know who might try to “help” me (prevent me), and its the perfect environment to accelerate the demise of a man. What’s not to like?
@Letmesleep Hmmm… yup, 2000 years may seem a extremely long time for us… but to God it’s not that much… And I wasn’t insistent… We were BOTH talking about a subject… that subject being religion. I think this is a place where people should find hope. Everyone wonders why God allows all this suffering. Well I’m trying to show people that he promises such needed hope and that he will DO something about it soon…
@Letmesleep…….I will research other methods. A header off of Glacier Point in Yosemite seems a bit dramatic for my character, but maybe I will stumble upon something. When I first began giving thought to this I liked the idea of slipping into the waters of the open ocean, therefore not forcing anyone to have to deal with the body. But, where would I get a worthy boat?
@keyofe England is no better trust me, infact it sounds exactly the same. It is people with no soul ie: the free, like that songwriter rightly says who are the main reason im even on this site, they have no time for people like me, trust me. they’re too busy flying around getting what they want out of life to understand and empaphise (sp?) with my desperate soul! All I ever do is try to find opportunities to ‘live’ and love but those opportunities lie usually at these kind of peoples feet and poooooof gone!
@just me .. yes it is getting worse your right, it all falls down in the big picture to the worlds belief system, they dont believe the right things and so they follow and stick to the wrong. it does damage behind the scenes and sorry but that includes deffinitely religions. its just all mistakes followed!
@just.me.20: This IS a site for hope, however continuing to make arguments about God’s nature just sounds more or less like “nuh uh! God is nice!” If you want to offer hope, give people practical suggestions on how to make their lives better. Faith is good enough to pacify only the weakest of minds and most people who show up in places like this have already asked the sky to help them. Saying “God will help you soon” is meaningless and insensitive. We want real answers.
@InTheKeyofE: Jumping from high enough (250 feet over land or 350 over water) is a much better option. Look, I’ve dealt with this a long time. I know suicidal ideation helps sooth the pain and I’ve used it my whole life. Realistically there are much better options, but what I hear you saying in this thread is “I’m lonely. So lonely, in fact, that I’m considering ending my life”. For that I’m truly sorry.
Do you seek friendships or are you looking for love? I know you are very sick, and that with your illness some may stay away from you out of ignorance. Sometimes there is stigma attached to your illness but I want you to know I’m not afraid of you. Surely there must be other people who are willing to keep your company? What practical things could be done to fill that social void in your life?
@just.me.20……….I did not mind your attempts to reach another “lost soul.” While your “success” rate is likely less than that of a hard up gambler on the crap tables in Vegas, I realize that it is such effort which is called upon by the mother church (whichever brand you might be). I do hope though that you don’t believe you get a star on your crown for each wayward person you bring into the fold. That is sort of like Jim Baker’s hallway to heaven, the more money one gave, the farther up the hallway your picture hung, supposedly the closer to the throne one became. If God is real, we humans have a lot to answer for as we have given him/her a bad name.
@Letmesleep………actually I feel pretty good physically. At 59 I could go out tomorrow and rollerskate on my old-fashioned quads for 20 miles in less than two hours. I can bicycle 80-110 miles per day for weeks at a time. I could get to the top of any of California’s 10-14,000 foot mountains with a bit of grit and sweat. I am HIV+, but do not have AIDS. I am more bothered that I am a slave to the meds and the medical system. I have been into nutrition and herbs and exercise my entire life and never needed doctors.
As to social structures, I am somewhat of a recluse. In the last five years I broke my neck (have titanium rods drilled into my spine), was diagnosed with HIV (not gay but that matters not), and was kicked out of my family will, thus kicked out of the family. I have a few good friends but seem to be prone to disconnecting from people. I often walk the streets playing harmonica, and being pretty good, get many a thumbs up and an occasional nice conversation. With me, I just need someone to hold, but that person is not there. I certainly am not interested in infecting anyone else, but we who have this disease are pariahs to a certain degree. I don’t tell people, you wouldn’t know by looking at me, but it is always present.
@Letmesleep Well… let me get this… So it’s wrong to say that “God is nice”, huh? 🙂 It’s a proven fact that God is evil, right?! So saying anything else but that… and bringing reasonings (that any human can balance and see if they’re real or not) would be… a bad thing, right? So don’t worry I won’t ever bother you with this.
@InTheKeyofE You know… Jesus brought to people a message of hope… And he commanded his disciples to do the same… So that’s why I’m doing it… Not for the stars… not for anything else… People hardly believed in him then… and I KNOW people will hardly believe his message now too…
Ah, well I’m glad you’re in relatively good health despite the HIV. I had seen another post stating you had HIV and that was what I was referring to. I guess I just assumed you were in a bad spot physically – my apologies for the assumption.
I hear your struggle on wanting someone to hold. That really is a tough situation and I would probably feel a bit hopeless as well. I don’t want to make it sound like there are people who are ok with being in a relationship with someone who is HIV+ just floating around everywhere, but there *are* others who have the disease who might love you. Another forum I visit has a man who both him and his partner have HIV. It can be dealt with if careful.
I get what you mean about HIV turning people into social pariahs. Unfortunately this is due to ignorance and misinformation. No one wants to catch it but aren’t educated enough to know how the disease is caught. I wish I could just give you a manly hug cause you could probably use one.
I don’t have any solid answers for you. All I want you to know is I hear your frustration and hurt and really hope something turns around for you. Hang in there, bud.
@just.me.20: Now you’re just being a nuisance. Find another website to troll.
@Letmesleep Ok then, I’ll just let you sleep… 😉
@hurting1………so, I take it you are not from California? The Mojave is vast and desolate, although I have only driven thru it. Please don’t take this as a bad joke, but you might consider Death Valley, it is more interesting geographically, although might take a bit more effort to find a spot away from the madding crowd. I am more of an ocean/mountain sort, but the desert can be a mystical place. I think the desert scares me a bit because there are many animals which forage at night, and I would not want to become dinner for some creature prior to my passing. I would not have the strength at some point to fend them off and that could get a bit more grisly than I might want. In the redwoods there are less predators and plentiful materials to build a shelter with. Hell, one could even do it up in a tree. These sorts of details are difficult to fathom at the front end, but from reading about helium and gases on here, it does make sense to give these details thought. Why do you want to do it? (no pressure to actually answer that).
@Letmesleep……….no problem with the assumption, and hats off to you for noticing my previous comment and storing it in the memory banks. Astute you are. Thanks for your kind words and for the hug in cyberspace. Just for the clarification of any readers who don’t know, the HIV virus can only be spread by way of semen or blood interaction. You cannot get it touching or hugging or even kissing someone who is infected. We are a bit like the modern day lepers though. I was married for 26 years, so I had lots of good lovin’ and affection, I just miss that yet don’t put any effort into changing that. Most people think it is only gay folks who get it (mostly that is true), and women are not interested in a man who has it (I don’t blame them).
@just.me.20……..this is what typically happens when God is brought into the discussion, things fizzle when others don’t wish to accept your motive or your “truth.” People such as myself want desperately for someone to simply listen or care. We have spent years talking to God, but never heard much back. With people, as foolish and frail as we are, at least we are real, there is something tangible, another will respond with thoughts and emotion. Words in a book just don’t cut it. Peace.
Also @just.me.20……….actually there are over a billion of you on this planet who believe it. The problem is, the rest of us don’t see actions coming from the lot of you which lends much credence to what those beliefs supposedly entail. Christians as I view them here in the USA seem to have no problem killing innocent people overseas, they despise gay and transgender people, and money and the accumulation of meaningless stuff they think happens because they are blessed. I trust you are different, but your tribe is in desperate need of some redefinition of just who Jesus was and what it was he actually had to say. If the heart remains a stone what purpose does it serve to believe?
@Painman………..I rode my bicycle from Heidelberg, Germany to as far west as Stonehenge in 1983. It was still West Germany at that time. Spent four days in London, saw the queen on horseback as it was her birthday. Lady Di and the queen mum were both still alive then and followed the queen in a car. The USA is still just an extension of England in many ways, as the financial ties of the big central banks are one big crime syndicate, in cahoots with governments which never did represent the common folk. I have been told my ancestry is British Isles, but I feel more kinship with the oppressed darker races of the world than with my white European heritage.
Have you left yet? Perhaps I will go. I am in California.
goodness “just me”, you really are annoying. There are a million sites full of positivity and the world denies us to show our emotions….so shut up and let them website heal who it needs to heal and go read your bible, reading your preaching makes me want to kill myself! Go tell THAT to your god.
I don’t wanna kill myself through starvation. I wanna be in this big bloody gory mess with my brains splattered on the wall:)
I’d say I’ll go with you… But then when you get sick I’ll most likely break down crying. Then talk you out of it. Then your whole trip would be ruined. &nd you would have gone/done it for nothing. Then I’d be happy you’re alive (which is selfish of me). But in the end I’d feel really bad that I put you back into this crazy fukked up world we call life.