you dont understand

You’ve watched your baby girl grow up.
You’ve been there for her as life experiences knocked her over hundreds of times.
You’ve been there for her successes, and failures.
For her strongest and weakest moments.
But now she’s in high school.
She keeps things from you now.
Things like she lost her virginity to a senior.
She got pregnant and miscarried before the second month was over.
She started smoking and cutting herself.
She writes down that she hates you and her mother for never being able to understand in her journal, which she left in the hallway when she went to see her friends.
She feels trapped in her mind, and the pressures of school is getting to her.
She’s being bullied by upper classman. Or by her own family.
She looses all of her friends simply because they don’t want to get picked on either.
She’s lost her first love in a car crash.
She doesn’t tell you.
You should see it.
Everyone else can.
She tries to drop hints, but you don’t seem to pick up on them.
No one will help her. They think she’s trying to get attention.
You get a call from guidance. They tell you she said she’s been considering suicide.
You feel angry and upset.
You had no clue.
She gets home and you both talk.
You say that suicide is selfish.
It’s a long term solution to short term problems.
You don’t understand her fear.
The memories that will burn in the back of her mind for the rest of her life.
That she will never want to trust another person after the abuse she’s endured.
She will always be terrified of physical contact forever.
No amount of pills or therapy can ever erase her pain.
What you don’t understand is, though suicide is selfish, so is asking someone you love live with pain and trauma and fear for the rest of their life so you won’t have to be sad for the rest of yours.