Last night I was gonna kill myself. I had everything set up.  I was actually starting to feel better knowing that I would not have to deal with the day to day suffering. I was not going to say good bye. I was just going to go away. Then I heard my dad telling me good night he told me he loved me. I just started crying I’ve been not letting myself do that. I realized that everyone feels pain. My mom shes depressed too. My brother has to deal with his past. My dad is full of regret. I can’t just go away. I have to live. I want to die a lot more knowing I have to suffer. Life’s just hopeless I will never amount to what society’s average is because people they see me and see my scars. They think I’m insane. I don’t care anymore.
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2 comments
Sorry for your pain
Your right everyone has their pain and we are all more alike than we are different. That you can empathise with those close to you speaks volumes about who you are.
Everyone struggles with the fear of not meeting others expectations and I can tell you that attempting to live up to societies expectations will never get you where you want to be.
Yesterday I heard a story which took place in the 1930.
A young girl who was having trouble in school. The teachers called her parents and told them that wasn’t paying attention, fidgety, distracted… failing…
There little girl was not meeting societies standards.
The parents took the girl to a doctor who listened to the parents list of concerns as he watched the girl sitting on her hands. The doctor asked the girl to wait in the waiting room where he turned on a radio for her. In the office he asked the parent to watch their little girl who was moving to the music.
There is nothing wrong with your little girl he said, she is a dancer. The parents signed her up to dance class where she thrived and later in life became a very successful dancer and choreographer!
Today we would say this girl suffered from ADD. But that didn’t’ exist back then, so she didn’t have that. Instead the doctor was wise enough to look deeper, beyond societal measurements like ADD – a societal standard or conforming measurement.
Everyone is unique society tells us but only if everyone is the same!
No wonder we find ourselves mystified and stuck.
I hope you find a way to look deeper, to look beyond society’s expectations, and find your “dancerâ€.
Ken Robinson – Schools kill creativity
http://www.ted.com/playlists/42/tim_o_reilly_9_talks_that_str.html
Sorry for your pain
Your right everyone has their pain and we are all more alike than we are different. That you can empathise with those close to you speaks volumes about who you are.
Everyone struggles with the fear of not meeting others expectations and I can tell you that attempting to live up to societies expectations will never get you where you want to be.
Yesterday I heard a story which took place in the 1930. A young girl who was having trouble in school, the teachers telling her parents that wasn’t paying attention, fidgety, distracted… There little girl was not meeting societies standards. The parents took the girl to a doctor who listened to the parents list of concerns as he watched the girl sitting on her hands. The doctor asked the girl to wait in the waiting room where he turned on a radio for her. In the office he asked the parent to watch their little girl who was moving to the music. There is nothing wrong with your little girl he said, she is a dancer. The parents signed her up to dance class where she thrived!
Today we would say this girl suffered from ADD. But that didn’t’ exist back then and the doctor was wise enough to look deeper. ADD is a societal standard or conforming. Everyone is unique society tells us but only if everyone is the same!
I hope you find a way to look deeper, to look beyond society’s expectations, and find your “dancerâ€.