Where to Begin

Hi,

I feel that I am not worthy of the life I have, I am not worthy of my amazing parents. I don’t deserve to go to the school I am going to. I feel that there are people out there that more worthy of the life I am currently living. I feel that if I were not alive, those people might have actually had the chance.

Despite my parental support, despite my amazing research advisor, I cannot keep up with my life and succeed. I feel that I can never go anywhere in my life. Not professionally, nor emotionally. I have never had anyone really love me, except for my parents who are biologically designed to love me. I don’t have that many friends, or a partner. No one has ever bothered enough to try to get to know me, and if they have tried to, I kept them away by the excuse that I am quite busy. The fact is that though I “try” to work hard, though I “try” to understand chemistry (my major), I still suck at it. The sad thing is that chemistry is the only thing in this universe that I consider my self to be good at relative to other things (well besides crying, nagging, and watching TV).

I am not expecting many comment, because I normally don’t get that many comments. What are you going to tell me anyways? you don’t know me that well, if you did, you probably wouldn’t bother leaving me a comment.