does this happen to u sometimes? just out of no where u feel hope..hope, that u can actually make it? hope, that maybe there IS a way out? but the next day or even just a few hours later u realize ur wrong? and blame urself for the stupidity of actually thinking everything could change? does it happen to anyone? because its happening to me…its been happening for so long. I think to myself ‘hey,maybe i can make it,maybe im strong enough..ill give it a try’ but then it all comes down to the same thing..that i cant. I cant overcome it…and i feel worthless of being such a coward..why cant the hopeful thoughts just stay? why do they have to keep leaving me? why?? i know theres people out there that have worse problems than me and i think about about those people and i pray for them everyday, hoping it can help them at least a little..i know that people that have worse problems get to overcome their traumas or fears..so why cant i?? why do i find it so hard? ive done everything…therapy, pills, writing my thoughts, try and talked to my family, but nothing works…does this mean theres no way out?..
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Does this happen to u sometimes? Just out of nowhere you feel hope but the next day or even just a few hours later u realize your wrong?
Yes, but not as much as it used to. I have learned that hope is a skill that most people take for granted.
Would it not be ironic is much of our pain was a result of our unskillful hope!
Most people hope badly.
Read through these posts and you will see those who hope is to change the past which is regret disguised as hope.
Others hope to change in the future which is a magical wish disguised as hope.
Un-skilled hope keeps our eyes closed, would we even notice if hope possibilities arrived?
To hope well requires that we master the past and keep our eyes on where we are going while remaining in the present.
The car goes where the eyes go.
Skilled Hope is a tiger waiting to pounce, eyes open, observing, waiting, ready.
I think to myself ‘hey, maybe I can make it, (What would making it look like?)
Maybe I’m strong enough… ill give it a try’ (What is ‘it’ you are trying)
But then it all comes down to the same thing… that I can’t. I can’t overcome it…
(That’s the thing with ‘IT’ it cannot be defeated and cannot be overcome.)
I get that sort of… like a see-saw effect, not as extreme as a “yo-yo effect,” and not really “manic,” because my highs aren’t high. It’s more like i fall fast and hard, way down… and then i spend a lot of time debating whether to even get back up… and then i start the long hard climb, and it’s gradual… and then, as i’m nearing what seems to be the zero point, the opening to reaching positivity… i emerge from the cavernous depths of despair, and find some small and reasonable hope, onto which to latch… but as soon as anything makes me feel good again, something always predictably occurs to ruin it, and sends me right back to the bottom, all the way down, all over again… leaving me feeling the last climb out was just as much a waste as i feared it would be, and spending more time trying to decide to climb out again, just so i can get knocked back down… and all for a little sliver of dull, barely glowing hope, that perhaps it’s better to try, knowing failure is imminent and inevitable, instead of just giving up and laying in a whole, allowing impossible to define you.
But yeah. I totally get that hopeful, then not hopeful, feeling. I don’t like to let it surprise me anymore, so i usually just assume i will be unhappy, and try to work with that. I try not to let myself get too excited about anything… especially the bad stuff.
I like left22’s comment about “hoping well.” Don’t build hope for the wrong things. Learn to hope “correctly.”