What do I do now?

I’ve tried to kill myself  before. No one knows of course. Sadly the entire bottle of pills I took didn’t do anything but make me vomit the next day away. My family just thought it was the flu. They have no clue that I want to die, they don’t know that I hate my self with the entirety of my being. No one knows. I don’t want people to know, I don’t want to be that weird suicidal girl. The one that everyone pities, the girl that no one knows what to do with. I’m now a senior in high school and graduation is less than two weeks away. I thought things would get better, that I could get out of this hell hole and that I could just be myself. Now I feel like there is nowhere that I could be me. My father just told me I was stupid, that I was never right about anything. He was the one person that always told me that I was wonderful, that I could do anything. He was always there for me to talk to and tell my problems. He would tell me I was beautiful, that anyone who couldn’t accept me didn’t deserve to know me. The sad thing is I believed him when he told me that. Now I know better. Now I’m as pathetic in his eyes as everyone else’s. I know that my problems are minuscule compared to many people who write here, but I needed to write something, so I did. I’ve been afraid to try and kill myself again, but now I feel like maybe it really is the only option. It’s funny how one person can destroy you without even knowing what they have done.