School starts back soon.
I’m not ready… I don’t even have binders and folders yet. I’m so lame.
I’ll be laughed at for having the same back-pack for 2 years.
I’ll fail at my classes because I’m not smart enough.
I’ll go back in depression for not having any one to talk to.
I’ll have to eat by myself, or with my brother and his friends that think I’m dumb.
I don’t want to go back to that hell hole.
I hate it.
I hate every second I spend in this hell hole that’s supposed to be my home. I hate looking at my dad, every time I do I feel this surge of resentment. Im tired of being that bastard’s punching bag, the fuck up to blame when things go wrong, the one who’s talents are ignored. I’ve never cut before but tonight I really want to. Everything that’s important to me is ignored, the only thing that gets me noticed is when I get pissed off and snappy, then they yell at me and I’m left crying, trying hard to explain. No one understands, they can’t […]
I’ve tried to kill myself  before. No one knows of course. Sadly the entire bottle of pills I took didn’t do anything but make me vomit the next day away. My family just thought it was the flu. They have no clue that I want to die, they don’t know that I hate my self with the entirety of my being. No one knows. I don’t want people to know, I don’t want to be that weird suicidal girl. The one that everyone pities, the girl that no one knows what to do with. I’m now a senior in high school and graduation is less than two weeks […]
Isn’t it ironic? A young adult takes his life and his entire community is shocked, startled…sorry. The social media sites will be flooded with posts, somewhere along the lines of “RIP *insert name here* – you were loved and will be missed dearly”. Why does no one bother telling him that before it was too late? Why do people only start to care when the last breath struck his body? Some will answer: because they didn’t know. So what? Does a person need to be openly suicidal, in order to receive some love and affection? When did it become a heroic deed to remind the […]
So I have been fighting the urge to kill myself off and on for about 15 years now. Sometimes I lost and attempted suicide. So far I have tried twice, once when I was uncertain so it was a far cry from a real attempt, and once when I would have died had my neighbour not have found me. Problem is, I really do want to die but I don’t want to kill myself. I keep praying not to wake up and find myself full of rage when I wake up in the morning. I am so angry and depressed. I feel stuck, literally, we […]
I didn’t always live in a nightmare. I didn’t always have conversations with the voice in my head. I wasn’t always watched by disembodied shadows. I didn’t always hear tortured screams and maniacal laughter or my name in empty rooms. I used to be “happyâ€. “Happy†is an illusion created to hide all the pain, madness and fear. It was never real. But I used to experience that bliss, “Ignorance is bliss,†they say. That bliss is gone. I used to smile and laugh all the time. I used to think, or be thoughtful. Before the clouds, and locks. Before the black fog that covers […]
The tears they fall unfiltered and pure
Pouring out pain that nothing can cure
Tumbling, cascading like the waterfall
The vivid mark of agony’s call
Those salty drops of feminine curse
Trapped under weight, day by day growing worse
no one to catch them, no one to see
No one else lost in this hell-hole but me
Screaming in terror at the walls closing in
Dropping to my knees, my head starts to spin
Feeling the rage within growing stronger
What in the hell have I done that’s so wrong?
The quickness of breath and tightness of chest
I have endured through it all, gave […]
I have battled depression since I was 14 and have had multiple failed suicide attempts. Â Recently I have come to realize how messed up society is and that because my father has hovered over me my whole life, none of my achievements are mine they are all just his in my name. Â I am failing half of my classes at school and I am definitely not going to graduate. Â Knowing my father my life is just going to end up being a giant hell hole. Â I just want to die and stay dead this time.
“You can always talk to me. I will always be here to listen.”
Yeah right! I can’t talk to anyone around here. I tried to talk to my best friend and all I said basically went in one ear and out the other. She has the attention span of a fly. Anyone else I try to talk to, it always somehow becomes about them. Can’t it just be me for one fucking minute? Can we just talk about me and my problems without you blowing me off? I sound conceited but I really am not. I am just tired of being the listener and talking to […]
I was told by so many different people that I should kill myself. I’ve been told it since I was little. My dad, kids at school, my friend’s mom, people online I tried to open up to. I’ve been told indirectly that because I’m gay I should kill myself and burn in hell. I’ve been told that everyone hates me. People accuse me of lying for attention when I reveal that I was raped when I was six. I’m an idiot. I always say and do things to make people annoyed with me and hate me. I know they’d all be happier if they didn’t […]
this is my story its kinda long but hear it goes will I’m 19 my life isn’t hard. but I’ve been bulled ever since i can remember just because I’m dyslexic doesn’t mean I’m stupid. i can control this i was born like this i know i spell things wrong you don’t have to point it out to every one in the class. also the teachers make it feel like its my fault if i don’t come to them and ask them to spell check every thinks. I’m so sick of asking for help i want to just do it on my own for once […]
I cheated on my last boyfriend with the same guy twice.
Ive had sex with three guys who i were not dating.
I’ve had sex with 10 guys
I have a tattoo
Ive tried killing myself several times
Ive been wanted to die for the past three years
Im scared of the dark
I feel like I’m never gonna make in this world without a man
I want a secret chick lover
I love photography but think i suck at it
I wish i could be a stonner like my brother bc then life would be simple
I pushed a lot of people away
I […]
Well this is it the end of the line for me at only 15 year old and I can’t naturally smile or laff I’m now an alcoholic and a drug abuser messed up and I hear voices in my head so I am going to end it before I turn into a phsycho ***** and kill someone if I kill me then it won’t be a big deal I have no family or friends will anyone realise I’m dead I don’t know and don’t care I have got to the point where I don’t care if I live or die it will feel the same […]
My wife of 7 years left 3months ago and it still feels like the first day.she has a new bf wich she says shes in love with now.that
realy fucked me up.realy bad.the thought of them holding hands or kissing kills me and the thought of them makeing love makes me physicly ill i want to vomit.each day i pray all day to die and i even try about a month ago.thay put me in the hospital for about a week and i had to lie and tell them i wouldnt try again so thay would let me out.we have 4 year old son […]
i want to kill myself but everyone i know says no don’t do it but i think why not i would be way happier in heaven than down here in this hell hole
I’m scared.
I have no idea what to do. I think all this stress is getting to me. I want to go back and make everything better. I think I’m getting an eating disorder. I KNOW I’m not fat, but when I look at my self, I feel disgusted. I never feel like I’m good enough. I messed up, and I can’t fix it, no matter how bad I want too. I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me. I’m sick. Mentally and physicality. I can’t take it anymore.
I have these body pains that I know aren’t normal. I don’t like going to the […]
Escaping from this hell hole was the first good thing I’ve done on my own. Going off to college and not having to deal with all this family drama and emotional drain was so good for me. I was finally happy. I was finally care free. I didn’t have to fake being happy anymore. I was happy with who I was, where I came from, and how I was living. I finally got to be free from her stupid rules and her stupid views on life. I was finally free. And I thought that I could go live the rest of my life with barely […]
Ever since June 9, 2008…. I am embarrassed to admit that it may be June 8th of that year, but that day was probably the worst day of my life. A lot of shit went down, that day was like a fucking movie it was so unreal. Some days I tell myself it never happened, as for that is the only way I can cope with it. This world is simply a ball of shit. Hypocrites living out their every day contradictions. Those claiming to be “real” but whose lives are built up on lie after lie, after lie, after lie…. People claiming they love […]
People are getting confused, they know something is up, but the don’t have the slightest clue of what. I have not written in a while, and I miss it. I can’t express myself, and no one will know what is going on, there is just a whole bunch of missing pages in this story; if I can even call it that anymore. I have been sad, sadder than ever. I can’t stop asking myself, “When will things be better?â€.I can’t explain what is going on in my life for, there is nothing. Just the Same Shit, Different Day. Time is just being wasted more and […]
Well, im still alive … i thought about it …. i can’t do it .. people depend on me and proud of my self .. i can’t do that to my mother .. she loves me soo much and she wont stop crying if i left. but i really cant help it but i said some things that i shouldnt have .. there is this girl in my school and she is just the biggest ***** … Taylor is her name … she has made my life a living hell .. she can’t ever leave me alone . she always  knows that she is bulling me […]
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