Each day, someone tells me to think positive. They say I am supposed to magically find love for myself. How am I supposed to find a way to love myself when all I ever hear about is how I need to be prettier and skinnier and my hair needs to be longer and I need to be smarter… It’s damn near impossible to just make myself love myself when all I hear is how many flaws I have and how much is wrong with me. I’m sick of living day by day trying to be who everyone else wants me to be. I tear myself apart just trying to reach their standards. I have good qualities. I don’t know what they are, but I know I fucking have them. I am not just going to sit around and allow everyone else to decide who I am. I decide that shit. I’m done letting other people make me, because it never made me any more liked anyhow.
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4 comments
GOOD FOR YOU!! To be harmonious is one thing but to be a punching bag is another. I know what you mean. Why do some of us draw that attention of criticism? Are we mirrors for the flaws of others?
BE YOU, THE BEST YOU. More power to you.
I guess it’s that most people feel inadequate. It seems a sad thing to notice or to admit, but most of them are afraid… and they want you to be afraid, too.
You should read ‘Women who Run with the Wolves’ by dr. Estes, especially the chapter about ‘The Ugly Duckling’. It might bring you comfort and strength.
heh, damn.. you just described me in this post..
I’m exactly the same tearing myself to pieces..
expectations all around me, and most of the time nobody will even define what those expectations are..
somehow, I’m just always off and always wrong..
..and all the while I only wanted to be loved and accepted, just being myself.
I hope you can do this.. I’ve failed many times.. I keep trying though..
I think it’s because I feel there may be something over the next hill, if I can just get over it..
death is so final.. no hope, no ability to try anymore.. nothing..
so I try what I can while I’m alive..
I don’t know.. you can still hope and try because you’re alive..
good luck to you! 🙂
I agree with what you said :
“I am not just going to sit around and allow everyone else to decide who I am. I decide. I’m done letting other people make me.” Sounds like “Make Yourself – Incubus”.
You are on the right track. You do have a lot of good qualities and are worthy of love. Don’t let other unhappy people drag you down. It has taken me a long time to realize that the negative opinions of people who want to keep you down are actually just jealous, insecure rivals who don’t care about you. There are people in the world who care about you and people who are worth getting to know.
Give yourself a chance ! Hope this helps 🙂