my frends had prom today its all over facebook… i didunt go… i dont even have a girlfrend to hug or a frend… im the sad lonly kid who knw one whants to help cos it will bring them down… crying my eys out chane smoking… this is something i will regret for the rest of my life i startid to cut agen… my dad says im nothing and you may be reading this now thinking “but im your frend” well thank you for that but idk when your siting in your room smoking with asleep playing havent been out for days no money stragly craving choclet thers nothign left for me i feel dead lost lonly crying i need a achal hug i rele hun from some one not from the slut that whants to sleep with me its tempting but ill gust freek out i cant have sex no more i keep having flash backs to when i got raped “big wop” you think “no sex whats the problem” or “shag her then” im not like that and i know i dont feel i need sex so why is it upseting me i think its cos theres something inside me that thinks “you could be like them you could be normal” idk what to do bout that one but the prom idk i gess its something that evrey one is doing and ill feel part of something for ones but id tern u with no one and look like a freek to night is going t be tuf i dont konw what to do
love you xxxxxxxxxxxxx
3 comments
If you’re like me, then you don’t really want sex, but you just want to be loved. I recently lost the love of my life and it has been really hard moving on. Don’t feel too bad for not going to the prom. It’s really not that big of a deal. I didn’t go to my prom either.
I feel your pain, it’s not easy knowing what to do, and it’s hard asking people straight up. try not to sweat the sex. If you can look beyond that, sounds like you already sense that its love and not sex your looking for. Maybe being liked by others isn’t in the cards for you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t listen to others. People like people who listen. What I mean is, the first step to getting people to notice and take interest in you is by listening to them first. Now I know that sounds like an out of this world concept sitting in a room with no one around to validate you and how you feel, feeling like no one cares. I’ve been there, maybe not exactly in your position but I know what it’s like to be scared that no one cares and that the world is out to get you. I know what it’s like to be violated so visously. Cutting is natural, it helps release and gives us a sense of control. I know you don’t want to believe now, but One day maybe you’ll find another way to take control in your life, a way that is more satisfying and truly rewarding. Just have patients and keep your head up and a smile or 2 wouldn’t hurt. And have some pride in who you are, fire yourself up with positive thoughts cuz remember..your the shit!! Not a piece of shit!! believe in yourself and have a strong focus on who you want to be in the future. And don’t give up
i dont whant sex in some ways im afrade of love i just flash back to the time when i was abusd people girls notic me manly i think cos i hang out with girls i dont reley get on with guys so i get a lot of them whnating to get with me or even just sleep with me it lowers my tolrens of human kind and makes me feel like im a pece of meet agen passt arownd i whant ot be loved i dont whant to be uesd iv lissiond to people all my life helpt them and never ones askt for something andi still get tritid like shit i thort going to placis may make me feel beter things whould go away ic fit in but not so so i go back to blues drink and poem’s thank you for your help i think im going to need it
love xxxxxxxxxxxxxx