More pain

So true. Its indescribable. If anyone KNEW the impact their suicide would have on those left behind, I honestly don’t think they would do it. They not only leave us to mourn them, feeling the pain and sorrow because they’re gone, etc. They add so much more to it. They force upon us guilt, remorse, hatred, confusion, shame…anything and everything one could ever feel is thrown at you all at once. What they inflict on us goes beyond any pain or suffering one is left feeling when a person passes due to a cause that isn’t suicide. Even if it seems the grief is managed, its really not. The inner turmoil is always there. I KNOW if they really knew what happened after they chose to leave, they would change their mind. I have to believe this. Its one of the only ways I can deal with my loss because its unthinkable to me that my loved one would intentionally leave me with such anguish.

forsaken1 That one last time you think would be the end of causing pain, in reality, it’s actually a LIFETIME for the ones left behind. It’s the last time YOU think we feel pain but pain isn’t the only thing a person feels after someone commits suicide. In fact, we’re left with other feelings far worse than pain and those feelings tend to consume us for years and years. Sometimes forever. The pain from grieving rarely makes it to the surface. The When it does, it never goes away. It doesn’t come alone either. It has guilt, loneliness, anger and so many other feelings with it. I suppose its only something a person can understand if they were to experience it and I wouldn’t want anyone to have to do that.