When people ask where you’ve been the last five months or whatever what do you say?
“Oh, I’ve been suicidal and a shut-in and being well enough to be out may not last.”
or “I’ve had issues” or
“Been busy” –I don’t like bending the truth.
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Yes “planning a hasty suicide for myself,” probably the same as whoever’s asking if they have a brain in their head.
“Been looking for a shotgun” Is one I use pretty often, they usually think I’m joking and laugh.
I just go with “ah sher same old, same old, urself?” thats the point they usually start talking about themselves, most people dont actually care about the answer they just want a chance to talk about themsleves
Q: “where’ve you been?”
A: “around” “where ever…”
Q: “whatcha been doin’?”
A: “oh, you know, stuff…” “this an’ that…” “same ole same ole…” “the usual…” “livin’…”
Honestly, if they haven’t bothered to keep track of you in that long, they probably don’t know what to say either. Just go with it. Make small talk and get through the moment sociably, if possible. They’ll likely be on their way, soon enough, and then you won’t see them again for a while, if ever.
What you should reveal, depends on who’s asking, and whether “full disclosure” will negatively impact you in any way.
If you trust the person and have a real relationship with them and know they can handle it tell them the truth. Otherwise you will only create more pain for them and yourself, a zombie, taking a bite and creating another un-dead.
What would you say and do if someone responded to your question with “Oh, I’ve been suicidal?, thinking of killing myself, keeps me occupied†…
What would you have these people say?
I’ve read post after post of people complaining that people don’t notice their pain, won’t help them won’t fix them.
What do we the depressed expect from people? That they be better, stronger and wiser, knowing just the right thing to say and do then we are?
Would we have the people we confide in drop everything and listen calmly as we list off all the reasons life sucks.
What if they don’t have any answers, what if they are just hanging on, themselves and now feel the added weight of having to help us when they can barely help themselves? And if we kill ourselves should they feel quilty… they will even if they tried to help…
Yes let’s talk about how honorable the people we know are because they can’t give us what we need. It’s all about us… probably why were depressed… it’s all about us and no one seems to notice.
Nobody cares least of all us, we are the nobody, the infected, the living dead, zombies …
The only reason i “care” that “no one has what i need,” is because i can’t do it for myself, because i don’t have what i need. I would vastly prefer to solve my own problems, without anyone’s help. Ironically enough, no one has the help i need, and i only need that help because i don’t have it in me.
The fact is, most of us are suffering to some degree, because so many of us are unable to help ourselves. You can’t expect anyone else to have the answers you can’t find within yourself.
I rather like that zombie analogy, left22. “taking a bite and creating another undead.” That sort of embodies the essence of why it’s so hard to talk to people about certain things. Except i would say it’s more like a pre-turned infected, soon-to-be zombie, knowing s/he will eventually succumb to the infection, wanting to distance themselves from those they care for, so that we do not become full-fledged zombies, right before their eyes, possibly attacking them, or forcing them to put us down.
We know the end is nigh. We know we can’t fix it. We know it is dangerous to others, and we don’t want them to go through this same thing.
I wouldn’t say it’s “all” about us. But “us” is about us, and when we don’t even have what we, ourselves, need, while others treat us as though we are simply choosing not to have what we need, when all we really want is access to solutions… it feels pretty terrible, and “other people” begin to matter less and less.
Me being here has to be about me, or i wouldn’t be here, because i don’t have access to anything beyond myself, that is worth suffering so much for.
A few months back I told the family I wanted a bullet… And I told them I wished I wasn’t here because of the physical pain I was going through. Hey at least some of them cared and wanted me to get a better life so they helped me. But now because of that shit and I’m not so suicidal now I still have to tell them that actually I was fine for the past weee! Stuff like that. It’s like I have to get the trust back that I lost from wishing I was dead and attempting suicide on and off. But I understand. The people who do care are just worried about me and don’t want me dead, they hope my life would get better before then. They’ve got what they want. They’re happy for me.
“been busy”
@clevername
When Zombies are portrayed it’s generally as a virus and mindless killing machines.
One of the things about zombies that I didn’t know or think about is that the Zombie is fully aware of everything they are experiencing only with the added horror of not being able to do a dammed thing about it. Trapped in a body totally disconnected from their will… dammed to an endless quest for “brain†that will never be satisfied. Condemned to shuffle along, with no possibility of rest feeling the phantom pains of every body part as they slowly rots away.
The only hope of the Zombies is to run into the survivor that will blast its heads away
Your right @clevername the dammed don’t want to infect others but eventually the hunger becomes too great and they are left passengers to what has become some grisly caricature of them selves, condemned to watch this ‘body’ this ‘thing’ on its endless search for brain, for understanding, anything that will relieve the hunger and the pain and in doing so infecting others.
I am a Zombie and I’m so sorry