Defeated

I lost, I give up now. How much more can I take? you keep pushing me, never have I ever feel so defeated, you won. I heard it’s so easy to OD, just heroin and alcohol, right? such beautiful peaceful departure, no more of this agonizing pain. I won’t have live my life anymore, for it is such a misery and so lonely, now and forever. Why do I have to put up with this if I don’t want to? Isn’t it at least my choice to want out? Why is suicide so bad? Why do you think people who committed it or want to so pathetic or even crazy? It’s their own god damn right to live or not, not yours. All you can ever say is, don’t do it, live. But oh, you have no idea how hard it is, you are not the one who has to do it, live it. I think the worst thing about life is, no matter how bad it get, you still have to live in it