To whomever reads this
I see a therapist to deal with my anxiety disorder that is heavily plagued with panic attacks and I am often ‘scared’ into a state of immobility where I cannot think move or breathe for short periods of time.
Anyway, we were discussing characteristics of what a person with anxiety exhibits and whether there are any common links. He had studied all his patients (and aside from other details he wasn’t able to release under confidentiality laws) he was able to tell me 64% of his patients were aquarius.
It is funny that this statistic exists. A profiling overview of an aquarius person states that they are emotionally unattached to the world, highly imaginative and intelligent, emotionless and heavy thinkers. We are told the aquarius seeks freedom, and if this general overview sounds vague to you it describes me perfectly. I feel as though I’m trapped by the morals and ethics of society, concrete jungles and cities horrify me to the point where I had to move to the country to find peace. I think about things 500% more than the average person, and also true is the statement that we are emotionally detached. I have been told exactly that on more than one occasion, though inside I care intensely,
externally I have trouble showing that.
As a bit of background here’s a few facts on how my mind works:
-If something bad happens that one incident overrides any of my thoughts for the rest of the day
-I often lose track of time and freeze in random locations as I have lost myself in thought and don’t even realise that I have stopped moving
-I worry about everything
-My mind is always worrying about the future
-If I am upset I begin to feel upset more than the standard person; my vision is blurred, I feel nauseated, I choke or stutter on words, often a limb will go numb like pins and needles
I have thought of suicide on many an occasion as a release to all this. Being raised Buddhist, if I take my own life supposedly my soul is destined to repeat the same sense of doom until finally it overcomes that and I am rewarded with a happy next-life. I suppose I don’t know if I believe this but it definitely keeps me on this planet fighting away.
More to the point, is anyone else out there a depressed aquarius? Does anyone else feel the same way?
I am 21 years young and I know I have so much ahead of me, but even with people around me I find it hard to keep friendships because I am locked in my own prison in my mind. I can talk through the bars and move around inside but I can’t get out. I find writing to be therapeutic, and painting, because I can express these feelings in ways I can’t speak out loud. I just feel like I will never be able to sit down and hear the birds sing, my mind shouts emotions and irrational fears and everything repeats itself so constantly that I can’t sit still and enjoy the moment.
I am so empathic to other people’s problems, but when faced with my own I am indecisive and will think of every possible outcome mostly in the negative sense before I decide.
I know I am intelligent, I know I am strong willed and brilliant, but I am being held back by my own brain. I can’t even sleep, I’ve been on zopiclone and been thrown around all kinds of anxiety medications since I was a kid. I don’t even know that I have REM anymore. I just want it all to stop!
I know I shouldn’t and wouldn’t but I know the only thing keeping me here is the inevitable fear of ‘what if’, the same thought that rules my mind on a daily basis.
Thoughts appreciated
Ash
12 comments
Is it weird that I can almost relate to you? Only difference is I’m a Virgo. Also, I have an Aquarius friend and the description of yourself describes her perfectly. I thought you were her until I saw your name signed at the end. Yes, she is very sensitive, anyone who knows her can tell when she is bothered. But she doesn’t like to talk about it, or at least get in great detail about it, unless it’s through text and even then she quickly changes the subject, something I do as well. I think Virgos and Aquarius are both linked in that they are both “emotionally detached” except Virgo is more of an introvert. Anyways, I notice that when she is emotionally unwell she also becomes physically unwell. So you aren’t alone. I’m glad I’ve read this, because now I also feel like I have a better understanding of her. Not being able to express emotions sucks, but I’m glad I read this and know that I’m not alone.
Interesting post Ash. I’m Aquarius, depressed and have had anxiety to some degree my whole life. I’m 56 and have finally run out of steam. I share many of your issues including difficulty maintaining friendships, worrying about the future and about lots of other things. I had never considered the correlation between my zodiac sign and other issues, so find your post interesting. I have some health issues now that on top of all the other issues have pushed me close to the edge where I’m close to ending it all.
I feel like i just read my own bio. I understand how you feel completely. I always say that i’m fighting my own mind, it’s a terrifying thing to do. I have an anxiety attack two or three times a day and they make curl up into a ball. the world just becomes pain. the only thing different is i’m a leo… so ya. i am very ready for the terror to end so i guess all i’m saying is i get it :/
I just want to say that I can completely relate. Also being an Aquarius. All the symptoms feelings thoughts I share. Overall feeling trapped and misunderstood. I hope that you can find some resolution soon and I send my love and thoughts. All the best Lorraine x
Hello I’m also an Aquarius and feel very depressed from time to time. It goes away sometimes and I feel I will never be this way again but something always happens (large though sometimes minor) and it brings me right back to this dark empty place. Sometimes I fall so deep I let everything spiral down on me. I stop paying bills, even if I have the money, I sleep til I go to work, which is at night, come home stay up thinking until the sun comes up about all the things that aren’t going right in my life. I lose focus, have little or no motivation to get up or even shower if I don’t have to go to work. It’s getting worse and I’ve even contemplated suicide again, since I tried once years ago, and have been back and forth with the thought of doing it since my early teens. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing I’d hurt my loved ones far too much and it is the guilt that keeps me from doing so. Also the fear that I will not go to heaven as I do believe in God but forgot how to pray. I spent a short time in a hospital that I checked myself into after my first attempt. Surprisingly I started to feel a little better until it was time to be released. I felt safe in there and didn’t have to deal with the world and didn’t want to leave. It’s crazy but at times I want to give up and just be locked away cause suicide will only hurt others and that is SO SELFISH. I can’t and I hope no one on here ever does that. If you don’t care enough about yourself then think of those who love you because there are people who do… people like me who do care about people that they haven’t even met. <3
although I am a Libra- what you shared here is so relateable to me that just reading your words gave me a surge of hope and encouragement…because some days I feel so strange- like I cannot relate to other regular human beings. As if my life is not even my own and I am like a super imposed cartoon character. It is so painful…what you say about being empathic– that is such a thorn in my side– but also a gift i have. It is a struggle just to sleep at night and stay awake during the day for the past several weeks. My life is in complete and total flux and I have no idea where it is leading me but the present is very lonely and uncomfortable…Just know you are not alone. Feel free to reach out anytime…You are a special person with a creative and beautiful mind…trick is harnessing that energy and learning to focus it in a positive direction– someone once told me that. I am still striving to learn how myself.
This is the only post created by imperfectionist. I hope they’re doing okay.
hey i am so glad i found this page..i am also an aquarious with depression and anxiety problem n i am 21 too n a buddhist too n i know esactly how u feel believe me…i was just i guess trying to find n know myself just to feel a little better when i came to ur post and i was shocked at first to be honest cause i felt like u were my exact photocopy….for me i was always a depressed n anxious kid from early age having to stay in a bad hostel from the age of 6..(i will explain further in my post..).anyway just to summarize its like we know who we are n what we r capable of but our minds seem to be lost in its own world…i feel like me n my mind are a different person n the more i try to control it the more i loose myself so i just let it go…the way i am writing thi may sound like i am not that serious but believe me i guess its just a one of those phases u know when u feel ok for a few minutes n then all hell breaks loose….i use to have those memory blackouts before when my depression was out of control but now its mainly anxiety…i worried alot about future n then my mind just seem to worry about stuff that dont even matter…i feel like i am held in my own prison..i just hate this materialistic world why couldnt people be more caring and not selfminded..i just wish life would be simple or is it my brain thats making it complicated…for me now its like i have like 2000 phases in one day where i feel gd then again depressed then anxious then depressed u know…i used to be so caring always thinking gd n doing and behaving gd to others inspite of depression n anxiety but now i doint even know who or what i have become…anyway hope i can talk to u more or just leave a reply plzz….dont loose hope we know we r strong n we will make it….
P.S i mainly have social anxiety n even right now i feel anxious about what u would think of me n all that…
Brother,
I am an aquarius too. I am an engineer by profession but I do have a strong sense of understanding about sun and moon signs. I had gone through a very bad phase in my life in my late teens. The whole thing started when I lost the only person in this world who understood completely: My mother when I was 12.
But, being an aquarius, I was oblivious of my own feelings and hence sheltered from my own grief. I felt like a superhero who can rise above emotions. But, then things turned fine and life went by. I had trouble coping with academics, as I could not differentiate between logic and memory.
I made friends out of guys who were around my student roll number in college. I understood how they thought, oblivious about my own self. According to me, Aquarius know a way lot about other people than their own self. They know it to just better like those people.
So, this detached Aquarius finally found solace in two things :
1. Chanting Meditation
2. Taoism-Confucianism. The yin-yang philosophy.
The first thing just turns your brain in a ‘non-thinking’ mode. You feel like doing weed. But, truly speaking, chanting is very liberating high.
The second thing, helps us make peace with life. The abnormal occurrences in life should be equivocated using the yin-yang philosophy. Aquarius is a paradoxical sign. So, if not controlled we have a tendency to assume extremes as a reality. And, we stay in that self created reality for days, months and years together.
So, a constant understanding of the duality of life is important for us. It doesn’t come naturally. But, one must cultivate that habit to have a sane persona.
The people who have ever come in my contact love me, for that fact that I can understand and empathize with all of them.
Cheers mate!
If you need help just comment. We are there to help each other out when things spiral into complexity. Love and peace 🙂
Hi brothers I am also a “Depressed Aquarius”
* Positive points :creative, inventive, and intelligent
* Negative points : Continuous over thinkers + overcautious (Mostly think about non happening bad things)
* Mood Resistance power : About non ,can be down by any little things.
* Puzzled Between : Birth – Life – Death
* Responsibility Check : Running away from or Try to fill them and wash the desk,they found responsibility as Over load to brain .
* If there is AIM :Aquarius will do anything to achieve it , and can be dangerous to enemy’s if Aquarius Set goal in subconscious mind. 100 % as study.
* Brain suggest them in depression : there is nothing left just end your life this is only Way!
* Way out for themselves : Train your Brain to Repair itself and try to do not over think /overcautious, about things which are not in your control,just leave it. that’s solve…this is hard but not difficult if you want to live your life as god gifted Genies.
…..
**Final Rescue Operation :
1. Never allow your brain to put yourself in meaningless state
2. Stay in touch with friends whose are live their life as HAPPY ONE, avoid negative minded friends .
3.Remember that your brain is your super power and Enemy itself.search Internet you will find this world has got many leaders and Scientists who were born as “Depressed Aquarius”. eg. Sir Abraham Lincoln
4.Set goal to your life otherwise your brain will always try to send you in dark place and finally towards depression and END…
5.Do whatever you like don’t try to put weight of your dislike things on your brain this will sometimes makes you panic..avoid this as quick as possible.
6.Many problems one solution to fix your brain … Meditation …most power full with perfect trainer no way out 100% sure than this way.
All Aquarius came to this planet to prove themselves as god gifted genius but unfortunately many of us waste their power in F***…ng dam things.Mind all of my friends it’s all about Programming of Brain.
God bless you with “Goal”
Have good time…
– Vikrant .(India)
I just registered in this forum.. only to write a comment.
I’m an Aquarius I’m 21 as well. What u are going through is exactly what is happening with me. And I specifically write this comment because of my depression in this moment. I’m a person who is always depressed but I try with all of my best to hide it from people around me.. especially my mom and my family. I don’t want my mom to get worried. She is a big reason why I feel better from time to time. Well I usually help people and make them happy as possible as I can. But I am not happy. Well it is super CLEAR why the Aquarius could be depressed as a person as compared to the others.. tajd that’s simply because of our mind… I think of and about every little piece of shit I mean I get realllllly tired because of my over thinking. I’m a student at university and I am going through really hard time cuz of study.. the depression can’t help me to study as the others .. I don’t come to pass any simple things.. because I am giving up on everything. I am 21 and never been in relationship and I’m virgin because I can’t accept anyone in my life.. I need a qualified person or a qualified mind . I am so needy and so aloof and so alone. Even I know a lot of people and I refused so many ppl in my life. I dunno what I have to do!!!!
Iwouldn’t come back to this website but I want everyone who reads this.. to know that you are not alone . I’m here struggling with my life because of NO specific reason huh!!!!
I have never thought of suicide.
I’m sorry if this comment isn’t coherent that because I am trying to write any think..
Peace and stay strong.