F.T.B.S

I’m tired of such hypocrites and judgmental individuals. I have made mistakes in my life, I’ve done some screwed up shit. But guess what? SO HAVE YOU. There’s no reason to act as if you are a saint. It’s ridiculous.

I’m tired of drama. No one cares about your life. That’s one concept that nearly ALL of humanity cannot seem to grasp. The only reason they would care about or even acknowledge your life is if there were DRAMA. Doesn’t that kind of seem like a freak show? Like the audience (humans around you) are enjoying watching you struggle with some obstacle or watching you completely fuck your life out of proportion. They get a kick out of watching you squirm, and they enjoy critiquing your actions and JUDGING you on it; it’s all they ever do. So it’s no use to even talk to people anymore, really. All I ever hear from people’s mouths nowadays is something about someone else and the what ‘he said-she said bullshit’.

I have a lot of stuff that I’m tired of…but I don’t have the energy to face them all tonight, and I don’t think me complaining is going to solve much. Besides, it’s not like I can change the shit happening around me; society moving along it’s historic cycle. It’s just depressing to watch, I guess. Everyone running around like a disturbed hill full of ants. Continuously bumping into each other, falling, dying, and running around in total circles. It’s saddening…and it makes  me tired of life, sometimes to the point of getting seriously suicidal. Why would I want to even TRY to ‘make it’ in a world like this? It’s so horrible sometimes.

I’m tired of getting depressed. I’m tired of beating myself up all the time and not being confident about my looks and who I truly am. I deserve to be happy, everyone does. I just need to find more ways to fully make it out of this hole; what I need to accomplish within myself first, mainly. I just need a boost of some sort.

I’m really trying my best to find some sort of peace. I hope with all of me that I can find it.

One day, I’m going to be happy and comfortable with myself. This is my main dream right now. I’m GOING to have what I need and want, no matter what others around me think. Fuck them. This isn’t their life and they aren’t in any sort of position to tell me what I’m doing is wrong. I’m tired of being held back by the expectations, threats, and verbal abuse of others. I can do anything I want if I put my mind and heart to it. I’m completely unfuckwittable.