Well here goes nothing. the car is started and I’m taking the easy way. full tank of gas and airtight garage. I really loved life. I did. I had all the promise and every opportunity in front of me. But couldn’t stay away from drugs. been clean 3 years but a felon with a history of abuse is just a piece of societal garbage. I really am justired of failing.  I’m fucking scared. But I’m done. I hope I get another chance to do it right. I won’t waste it. What a pathetic way to go out, I just am not strong enough to  do it anymore. Bye
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If you’re not gone, and for what it’s worth, I think you should give yourself some credit for getting things on track – overcoming addiction (being “clean 3 years”) shows character – people get into drugs and struggle with addiction in various ways, for various reasons; yes, it can result in actions that can jeopardise your future (and perhaps cause harm to others), but you seem willing to at least try and make amends, and far from being “a piece of societal garbage”, you could actually be of real help to a lot of folks struggling with addiction. Lots of people with some sort of criminal record do go on to lead productive, healthy lives, and you’ve already come a long way.
Stick around, if you otherwise can… You likely have something to contribute… Yeah, may not be easy, but if you’ve got decent health and some support (/means to survive), as well as what you’ve acquired through overcoming drug addiction, you should give yourself the chance for more “opportunity”…
I wasn’t supposed to be commenting, but, there it is…
Best of luck.
I thought I was the only one with drug issues on here.