no whereto run

today has been crap. so ive been in bed for the best part of 3 days getting more and more anxious becaue my CAMHS appointment is tomorrow (child and adult mental health service) ive resisted cuttin, just making me more worked up. but now my mother has gone off he rails, said shes going to tell them that im just a selfish pathetic shallow grumpy teenager that she hates me. i dont blame her. im a shit excuse of a daughter. i need to gt out, stay out tonight just till ive missed the appointment. but i have no where to run to, no one to turn to.