Sooo.. Recently I have been having suicidal thoughts for several reasons. Most of them I’m sure no-one will ever understand, because we all view the world differently, what may mean the world to someone may mean absolutely nothing to another person, so with that in mind my suicide thoughts have done nothing for me but make me feel even worse about myself, but I am now realizing that life is hard on everyone, some just handle it better than others. now, my family means the world to me and 90percent of the time when I am soooo close to killing myself.. I think about how selfish id be, because I am just thinking about myself. not about how much damage I could be doing to my lil sisters and brother (family), and I wonder how is it going be when they have to talk about me or even them going through life knowing they had an awesome big sister that let LIFE kick her ass, because she took the easy way out. or even worse, them messing up their life and blaming it on my death….. no that’s not me. so yes right now I am going through the roughest time of my life SO FAR, but when I look back at it, there clearly had to be a good reason why I did what I did at the time or else I wouldn’t of done it. sooo this is me making a promise to myself I am ending my suicidal thoughts because im barley only 18, and what was my biggest problem a month ago doesn’t even bother me now so with a little bit of time.. im sure what I was trying to kill myself over today.. will be my least worries in about a month. nothing last forever!
However, I would like to share what I am going through with someone. sooo feel free to hmu.