paranoid for a reason

Yep. When you can’t act to attain what you require, the only other option is to dismantle the requirement, from inside yourself. It’s completely unfair, because you didn’t ask for the requirement, and it could be easily corrected, or “closed,” in this case, if only the other person would just explain… but they won’t. So, since you can’t force them to do what you need, and you can’t force them to change in the way you require… the only option is to change yourself. Dismantle the requirement for closure, from inside yourself.

Stop letting people tell you that all assumption is wrong. Sometimes it’s necessary for progress. Sometimes you have to assume that the information at hand is all you’ll get, and fill the gaps and blanks with whatever fits, and if you’re wrong, it’s not your fault… it’s just the only option you were allowed.

If someday you should receive new information, then you can adjust your models and reanalyze. But until then… if that never happens… give yourself the best answers you can, and move on. It’s not worth letting someone control your life through perpetual mystery and lies.

If you know them to be a liar… then define them as such.

Can you trust anything a liar says?

Even if you did receive the answers you request… those answers would come from a liar. So would that really do you any good?

You’ll end up thinking what you have to think, anyway, no matter what they might say, no matter whether they never say.

Don’t wait for nothing.

Well… i suppose the thought that i might be lying simply did not occur to me.

If you can’t get the answer you seek, there are only two options:

1) continue to seek it, despite the apparent futility
2) remove the need for the answer, and do something else

I have no reason to lie here. I don’t know this person, and see no way to benefit from lying or deceiving, and there is no potential threat from which i must protect myself through misdirection.

My interpretation of the original post caused me to feel that i have experienced something similar, and so i attempted to share my understanding of what seems to be the only options for a “solution” to such a problem.

You can either wait for an answer you’ll never get, or an answer you struggle to believe, from a known liar…

Or you can take all the available information, figure out what best fits in the gaps, and decide that’s what must be correct. Or, you can learn to dismantle your own need to ever have the answers you seek.

This approach surely qualifies as “easier said than done,” but i have spent countless hours contemplating such things, and despite my understanding of the nature of, and reasons for, the discovered solutions being valid… actually implementing this approach is surely more difficult than understanding why it must be done.

It’s probably easier for most people to approximate an explanation based on available information, rather than to simply “choose not to care.” If you can simply choose not to care, then i would say that’s probably better. I personally never figured out how to forget, so i have to use the “best approximate theory” approach.