Well I’m 26 and have never had a girlfriend, date, anything going.Â Â Â Being with someone is totally 100% blank. Â I was always afraid to approach people.Â It’s come to define me among the people I know.Â I really have no reason, and everyone I come across thinks it’s strange…always had a good job, lots of interests,Â did well in school, no strange mannerism ,look pretty normal.Â I justÂ feel out of place.Â Â It’s like a code I can’t crack.Â I feel like it’s pushing me to the brink.Â Every year that passes I feel more bitter and worse than the year before…I’m so sick of the constant reminders that we are meant to be with someone, it makes me feel like shit.Â I accomplished so much but I feel this will be the question I can’t answer.Â I feel like there no reason to continue trying at anything.Â IÂ wish I could just end itÂ sometimes.Â Â It’s come to occupy any free time in my head.Â Â I’m afraid of how I feel inÂ Â 5 years when it’s the same damn story.
Why does your life depend so much on being in love with someone else? Can you find some happiness in being alone if you do not want to approach people? Not everyone who dies alone dies miserably, if it helps.
I know exactly how you feel. What bothers me about it is not dying alone, although it’s not how I want to go out, its just that most of my friends are meeting people, getting married, having kids, going forward – and it’s not about partying or hanging out – but it’s like no matter what, I’ll be that single 3rd wheel. It’s weird because I suddenly see myself withdrawing from my friends because it feels so awkward around them. I actually feel like I can’t talk with anybody about it because how do you talk about feeling like you’re an outsider to your friends because they’re dating. I was molested when I was young and I didn’t like people to touch me and I’ve gotten so used to being alone that even though I want to be in a relationship, I’m not sure I could handle someone being permanently in my space. Sex is only a small issue now although I’m still uncomfortable about people touching me, I feel like if I just get laid every so often and bear through that – I’ll at least feel somewhat normal and I’ll be alright but it’s all really just gotten out of hand. I don’t know what do about it. Sometimes when I’m driving, and it all hits me at once, I really just think about driving my car into a tree.
yeah. .tell me about it. you can’t see a film or read a book without being reminded that you’re supposed to be paired off. Add to that the amount of friends who run through girlfriends/boy friends as quickly as i go through books… and then chat about it with you in such a casual way that it makes you feel broken.
As you can probably figure out, a lot of what you said applies to me as well. The only difference is that i’m older than you.
Strangely enough, i’d have to echo a lot of what rafael said. I actively dislike being touched by people. That isn’t to say i don’t like to be intimate with someone i trust, but getting to the point where I trust someone is very difficult. In addition, i have an almost automatic violent reaction to being touched from behind. A ridiculous response but it’s instantaneous. By now though, people pick up on cues and the worst i have to deal with is a handshake.
Advice? I managed to ask someone out when I was drunk. Of course after that i managed to think myself out of the relationship after a couple dates by convincing myself i didn’t like her. I’ve managed to recognize this defense mechanism and .. not ignore it but.. lessen its impact.
more advice.. I would not be dating.. ( and I do it very rarely).. if it wasn’t for friends. I have one friend who knows the broad strokes of what’s wrong with me. She managed to advise and interpret my behavior to a friend of hers and got us through the initial stages and into a relationship. After that, things were somewhat easier.