happy birthday

I’m so sorry for hurting you. For making you hate me. For being a piece of shit. Today you turn 18. I wish I was there for that. You kept me sane, and I took it for granted. Now I’m alone, hated, wishing I weren’t alive.  You kept me from dying, But I don’t have you anymore. It’s been just over 9 months since we parted, and I regret every day. I wish we never dated, that way I’d never fuck it all up. I’m so so sorry. You’ll never know how sorry I am. Please forgive me, or at least not wish I were dead. I know you want me to kill myself, so you don’t have to deal with me. I’m working on it, promise. Happy birthday anyway.