October 14th is when it will all happen. I’ve organized my entire room today and have started on the so called “goodbye letters.” My therapist called me today after an email I had sent her and I’ll be seeing her this Wed. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her on the phone, but I will when we see each other. I know she will try to talk me out of it, but it won’t work. She’s been so wonderful and helpful but there’s no fixing me. So why should I go on at all?? There are things that I’ll miss from life of course, but the pain and the tears and the cuts will be over. It will all be over…
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If you tell her… Doesn’t she have the power to lock you up to “protect yourself”?
And on a slightly unrelated notion:
How do all you people afford shrinks, prescription drugs and medical attention? I can’t even afford medical insurance!!
I don’t think she will, but i hadn’t thought about it. It wouldn’t feel fair to not tell her though; she needs to know whether she will like it or not. She’s been there for me more than I could say and I feel I need to tell her.
On your “slightly unrelated notion,” I met her during a forensic evaluation for a legal case. We were supposed to meet for two sessions for two hours each. Well, those two sessions turned into three sessions. After that, she decided she wanted to see me for six more sessions. That was back in February… i’ve been seeing her regularly ever since and for free. She never charged me, which just shows how great she is as a person and how messed up I am…
“And on a slightly unrelated notion:
How do all you people afford shrinks, prescription drugs and medical attention? I can’t even afford medical insurance!!”
I often wonder this very thing.
If you can afford a shrink (or in this case, a therapist?), things must not be that terrible yet.
Oh. Well then.
I’m not sure being able to afford a shrink or therapist or not should be a factor for how damaged you are inside or not. I came to find out money does not buy everything. Believe me, I’d give every single penny i’ve ever owned if that meant I wouldn’t feel the way I do nor anything that happened to me had actually happened.
That’s unexpected
?
I’m not saying that you don’t need or deserve that kind of help, and it’s great your getting it for free. I was kinda expecting an answer along the lines of a payment plan or something of that nature! But as a wise man once said.. “Oh. Well then.”
Most people don’t realize just how much money can help them feel better, until they don’t have any to spare.
Money isn’t going to change your past… but it can certainly enable and avail quite a many options that can make today and tomorrow better.
I was certainly not implying that money can buy “everything.”
Spending money in the right ways, on the right things and/or experiences, can certainly make you feel better. You just have to figure out what those ways are. And a huge part of it is deciding to take better care of yourself.
@RT: lol.
I said that after posting my previous comment, because her response hadn’t shown up yet. I clicked ‘submit,’ then saw the answer to the question… so there wasn’t much else to say, but “Oh. Well then.”
Haha!! That’s funny! 🙂
It’s possible to escape from this mindset, you know. I did. It’s not emotional issues holding me back anymore. If you can get over them you will wonder why you wanted to die for these reasons. It may seem all encompassing now but later you’ll realize it’s not so important. If you stop living in the past, and if your present is manageable, there’s no reason why you can’t recover and have a decent life.
That’s an even more complicated question then “how do people afford medical help?”
Why is it so hard to move on knowing life can be better?
Not sure where you are from, and every place can have different laws / rules.
But in the USA – if a therapist or doctor have “reason to believe” that you may attempt suicide, they are *required* to notify the police. The police will come to wherever you are and decide if you are a threat to yourself (hint – they will go with whatever the doctor says and your opinion doesn’t matter).
So, basically if you tell your shrink you have a “plan” or you have a “date”. You will be locked up.
And no offense, but since you have both – I kinda hope they do lock you up and you get the help you need.
@uselessme- you aren’t suicidal?
@RealTalk…..
If I am or I am not is irrelevant. I do not matter, she does. See the difference?
“And no offense, but since you have both – I kinda hope they do lock you up and you get the help you need.”……..what in the hell is “help” in your POV…..they will dope her up with these weird medications and not only will they not treat the cause of the problem… they will only treat the effect of her problem in a psych ward ….in fact all she has to do is act like she miraculously recovered and they’ll let her go…..that’s help? that’s the help she needs? ….that’s the golden solution? to involuntarily detain her in a place where REAL crazy people are and force her to take medication with various harmful side effects until she “recovers” enough to leave? Then what? she’ll be 100% better all because she was detained in a nut house?
“and you get the help you need.”
My definition of help, not *theirs”. Big difference.
Well your definition of help is involuntary commitment into a psych ward obviously ….according to your words so what do you mean by your definition of help? It seems to be the same thing to me unless you’d care to specify what your definition of “help” is?
@PnL – Your point is well taken that the “help” one needs is often not the “help” that is given … I believe UselessMe is specifically and clearly taking about the former – the “help” actually needed for TiredGirl and her very specific situation … that’s where the “hope” part comes into play
SO no – they are not “the same”
There is always a difference between what someone actually needs and what everyone else assumes they think that person needs and even a further difference from what is actually available and/or offered.
clearly convoluted dawg
PnL: What is so hard to understand. 1) Keep her alive so she can be HELPED. 2) Help her.
as for “how” – sorry I am not qualified to say how. I just want her better.
Sorry I can not offer more info – I am just not in a good enough place to argue today. BUT – I do agree with your premise that the current “treatment” path is nothing but a game.
@uselessme….. The hard to understand part comes in when you say ” I kinda hope they do lock you up” ….what does locking someone up do? involuntary commitment is no deterrent if a person wants to really commit suicide….they’ll find a way even locked up….why is it that to get help you have to be detained against your will? There are other ways she can be helped (if she can be helped)other than locking her up against her will……IMO that’s detrimental to helping her….
@Dawg… I don’t know what course of action is needed to help somebody but I don’t think a psych ward is the place to start….help can be given without removing her freedom…. If someone wants to be helped they should be trusted to receive the help….does forcibly “helping” someone even help at all? IMO I think the first step is identifying if a person even wants help to begin with…..If she doesn’t want to be helped it doesn’t matter what they do to help her….you can lead a thirsty horse to water but you can’t force him to drink it….
@tiredgirl
well.. I met my ex while she was living week to week… She told me after we had started dating that she asked me out because she was planning on not being here.. so she had nothing to lose. So make sure to try things you’ve been afraid of.
I ran a race a couple years ago.. and after a while.. I started passing people who were walking.. I was already in a state of pain but momentum kept me going. It was so demoralizing to see people who had given up.. I kept thinking ” look.. he gave up. you’re no better than him.. just stop. no one will blame you.”
How selfish is that to say.. Keep suffering! You’re reminding me that i can give up.
So yeah. i keep living for my ex.. for my family… and probably because my bad days are like other peoples good days. luck.
@tiredgirl
Are you sure you really want to die?
Sorry if I’m wrong, but your wish to tell your plans to your therapist seems like you rather want to be helped…
Because if you tell it to her (which is a good idea if she is really that good), she must do something, she has to follow a professional ethical codex and do her job.
What kind of therapy do you get? Some therapy needs months or even years to be effective, and there can be always fallbacks.