Perfectly Persuasive Positivity

It has been brought to my attention that the mere mention of positivity on SP brings harsh and swift opposition. I notice that sometimes and I want to share my thoughts…

I think positivity needs to be applied in moderation. A little bit at a time…. Too much and it kills the effect because it makes it seem unrealistic and kind of condescending….For example….Instead of bombarding people with numerous reasons about how good life is how special it is etc….you could simply say something like “it isn’t all bad” and leave it at that….but if you go onto specifically name all or many reasons why life is good it makes it seem unrealistic because not everyone experiences the same thing…However they don’t experience all bad either….

A band aid sometimes works better than major surgery…

A little encouragement never hurts but saying in it in a way that conveys it is easy to overcome whatever the obstacle may be is detrimental and will work against your intended purpose….

For example…. saying something like “if you put enough effort into fixing (whatever problem may be) then you can do it”   This conveys the message they aren’t trying hard enough and that they have given less than adequate effort …. You could say something like ” I know you have tried very hard to overcome (whatever issue may be) but it may take longer than you think it should so hang in there” …. This way it is known that you acknowledged their effort regardless if it was sub par or not you still are giving credence to the fact they are trying.

However, make no mistake….In no way shape or form am I telling you to sugar coat anything… I am saying that you need to use the right words to convey the right message….

Of course there will be people who you just can’t encourage or support no matter what because they may be too deep in the abyss to see light… Exercise your own judgement when assessing if a person can be helped or not….and accept the fact that many on this site just can’t be helped….I mean realize where we are….on a suicide site….so for the most part it has gotten pretty bad for us to end up here in the first place…..Positivity for some people is like telling the Slaves in slavery days or Jews in the camps to “look at the bright side” most would look at you like you are bat shit crazy….

Positivity can help some but for others it does nothing… Perspective can only influence so much…the rest is simply out of your control regardless of perspective….

When being positive just be sure to make sure what you are saying is realistic… same goes for being negative….I can tell a terminal cancer patient to “look at the bright side” and “keep hope” and “Don’t be a debbie downer” but am I being realistic? No because they are going to die and regardless of the attitude they have it won’t be changed based on their perspective….

I could also tell a guy that got fired from a job “man its over dude” and “you’ll never get hired again with that on your work record” or “you might as well not even look for another job” but am I being realistic? Nope not at all because its silly to think they would never work again based on being fired from one job.

I just think positivity and inspirational things need to be said where they have the most affect, said in the right way to be effective and used in moderation….saying these things to someone you know its hopeless for does nothing but make them want to mute whatever you say and ignore you…