How much longer can i do this?

It hurts so badly. Looking at the pictures of my friends and how happy they are. Ive realized that when i think of the people i care about and how precious they are to me, they probably dont think about me at all. I knew i would always fuck this up, i was just hoping i wouldnt be alone. SOooo, when i was looking at their pics from past them or posts they put on facebook or their happy inside jokes none have me in them. The old pictures have them so happy and smiling with people they still talk to and im all alone. i just feel so hopeless. In social situations, i just assume i don’t fit in.i find myself personally unappealing, or inferior to others. I feel like i shouldnt even be sitting at my lunch rable with my “friends” bc nobody wants me there so i dont say anything and just sit there either listening to music, reading, sketching, just keeping to myself because they could give 2 shits less if i was there or not, i dont want it to be this way. Iv’e tried talking to my old friends but even they wont take me back. They were my anchor, keeping me down here, but what am i supposed to do know that my anchor’s chain broke? Ill just stay behind, watch their backs, and stay away.